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25 March 2012

Random hookups devalue concept of love

While the definition of love varies from person to person, I believe it to be something dignified and great because of what it creates: friendships, families and eventually children (the ultimate gift).

At its maximum, love is the most beautiful thing there is, especially when it is consummated after marriage. However, love or romance or whatever you call it is a process that takes time. Romantic love is tied to sex, which is connected but different.

I have no problem with premarital sex as long as it is done for the right reason, consensually within the confines of a loving relationship. When it comes to the clubs, there is no love. There is only desire without commitment; it is only pure physical gratification. In other words, one individual uses another individual as a sexual object to fulfill a sexual urge. Compared to the romance of my dreams reinforcing my sense of self-worth, a one-night stand with a drunk girl I randomly met at some bar seems like an act of prostitution.

Unfortunately, many people hedge their bets too soon, thrusting themselves into emotionally unhealthy relationships that shatter their dreams of true love. I know how bad it is to be extorted for time, money and resources. It’s one thing to be extorted out of your possessions, but something entirely different to be drunkenly extorted out of your body or sense of self for someone else’s pleasure.

Such an experience sounds too degrading beyond the limits of my imagination to be real, but it happens to college students every week at the Grove, house parties and South Beach. It really grinds my gears, yet for some reason it is socially accepted.

I don’t understand why this behavior is tolerated, especially among the good people that constitute UM’s student body. I don’t know what family values they will pass on to their children later in life. I can only hope my friends and fellow students realize their immeasurable intrinsic value and the implications those drunken decisions can have on their futures.

There are so many great people that deserve the best out of life. They deserve the fulfilling, healthy relationships built on discipline, integrity and mutual trust that make both partners happy. I only wish they find the fortitude within themselves to wait for them. After all, good things happen to those who wait.

Andrew Blitman is a senior majoring in marine affairs and biology.