Opinion

Our opinion: Finals season perfect culmination of addictions

So this is it. The final editorial of the semester. We’ve come a long way here at The Hurricane these past few months. One addition we particularly enjoy is the addiction series. It only makes sense, then, to couple that with the onset of finals season.

We naturally start with the addictions involved with the actual process of studying. Adderall and caffeine both supplement and complement each other. Many people use one or the other to boost focus, but those who choose to legally or illegally consume the miracle pill tend to drink coffee to exponentially increase their productivity and concern for the subject at hand.

Let’s speak of them individually. Adderall, on the demand side for those econ majors, is extremely easy to obtain during these next few weeks. Illegal users seem to feel no shame in both purchasing and popping the pills in public. On the supply side, legal users tend to sell out of their “product” in the first few days of finals, thus increasing demand further. Those who are prescribed “addy” can usually be seen spending their excess cash in the days following final exams either on strippers or other illicit drugs, such as ganja or cocaine. The only proof needed to prove caffeine consumption increases would be to check out Starbucks’ increased profit margin for the next few weeks – enough said.

But while the pill poppers and coffee drinkers wait for their respective drugs to take effect, there’s really only one thing to do – and it’s certainly not start studying. Procrastination. Whether you frequent addictinggames.com or Facebook, there’s consistently a handful of studious men and women browsing sites outside the academic realm, not to mention the attention-consuming Blackberry.

The next two addictions, one of which wasn’t covered in the series, are sleeping pills and sex. While sex addiction is certainly not healthy (i.e. “Californication” – David Duchovny), it and sleeping pills both aid in the conclusion of a long day in the library. While sleeping pills are taken as a result of being strung out on pills or coffee, they almost act as a cop-out. Maybe you should’ve focused a little more on time management.

Sex is a much safer (use a condom!) alternative to pills. For one, the act is clinically proven to reduce stress and, well, at least it’ll put a smile on that grim library face. Good luck taking a break in the stacks for some booty; it’s going to be packed.

All in all, good luck and be aware of your habits.

December 7, 2008

Reporters

Editorial Board

The Miami Hurricane


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

A six-pack of Canes notes on a Thursday: ▪ Draft-eligible Canes players are getting increasing recog ...

Three days after the University of Miami announced that defensive line coach Craig Kuligowski was le ...

Not only are the Hurricanes in the mix for at least five high-end running backs for the 2019 class, ...

After assembling one of the nation’s best groups of skill position players in the 2018 recruiting cl ...

Coach Kool, AKA Craig Kuligowski, is gone from the University of Miami, which is entirely uncool wit ...

Student a cappella group BisCaydence wins quarterfinals and advances to the next round in the intern ...

A closer look at the University of Miami's executive vice president for business and finance an ...

The popular Christian minister preached to more people than any other evangelist in history. ...

A vigil on the University of Miami campus, organized by UM students who graduated from Marjory Stone ...

The latest speaker in the popular lecture series at the Rosenstiel School, Jeff Goodell, shared insi ...

The University of Miami men's tennis team (5-2) returns to the court on Friday at 4 p.m., as it ...

Continuing a season-opening, seven-game homestand, No. 24 Miami is looking for its second straight s ...

Former Hurricane guard signs 10-day contract with Indiana Pacers. ...

For the second straight game, Miami's starting pitcher looked in dominant form through the firs ...

The University of Miami track and field team will compete against fellow conference members at the 2 ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.