Hurriqueen: What to do about chronic readjuster?

Dear Hurriqueen,

One of my coworkers does this weird thing where he/she puts his/her hands down the frontside of their pants, itches and rubs around, and then proceeds to touch the computers and other objects in the office. It’s really uncomfortable to be around. When I see it I don’t know whether I should look away or pretend not to notice, and I always wonder if he gets some sort of disturbed pleasure out of it. Should I say something?

-Concerned employee


Dear Reader,

Eww! Sick. Gross. I’m about to throw up, which means a lot coming from a person who has record-breaking control over their gag reflex.

But seriously, I can understand your frustration. When I was younger, my older brother would constantly be rubbing down there, rearranging his business and whatnot. If there’s one thing I’m phobic about, it’s germs. And I let him know it. “What the hell are you doing?” I’d ask. “Could you be any trashier?”

Of course, duplicating this dialogue is not the right way for you to deal with your coworker’s itchuation. I think you’re polite to refer to this person as “he/she,” but let’s be honest: we all know it’s a guy. And he’s not a bad person. Just someone who took the “keep your hands to yourself” motto too seriously. But more than likely, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Perhaps he has grown so comfortable and “at home” around you that he thinks he can be himself – unedited.   

I’m not suggesting that his pube fluffing should be taken as a compliment. Rather, something must be done. Personally, I’d be too embarrassed to say something in person. If I were you, I’d log on to Yahoo!, create a phony email account and send an anonymous yet polite email. Don’t get all angry on him. Simply explain what you’ve noticed and that you’d appreciate it if he could refrain from spreading his junk juice around. Also, make sure you let him know that you like him and think he makes a great contribution at work. No doubt he’ll feel embarrassed, but the last thing we want to do is make this guy feel so ashamed that he won’t show his hands at work.

And one last thing sweetie: Make sure you’re bringing Lysol spray and Purell to the office.


The Hurriqueen

November 9, 2008


The Hurriqueen

Advice Columnist

Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

With the University of Miami season opener closing in, the next starting quarterback has yet to be n ...

The second fall scrimmage, closed to the media and public, is over. University of Miami coach Mark R ...

1. DOLPHINS: Fins any good? 'Dress rehearsal' may tell: Opening win, then lopsided loss. W ...

University of Miami linebacker Jamie Gordinier has had another unfortunate setback, effectively side ...

The calmest coach on the planet got mad Friday after football practice. University of Miami coach Ma ...

UM’s new chief academic officer holds some 40 patents, and in 2017 was inducted into the National Ac ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.