Opinion

Proposals for today’s America

Proposed: Moving jobs out of the country is an absolute evil. Every time a company that calls itself American opens up a manufacturing facility or research center or other such contraption anywhere beyond the borders of the United States of America, that company is doing a terrible disservice to this country’s economy. If only those dastardly and faceless companies would just look at motives besides profit, then perhaps we in this country could regain our status as the world’s preeminent manufacturing powerhouse. Those halcyon days of 1946 would reappear.

Proposed: If we ever allow our military to fall significantly behind, say, China’s, we can kiss our national sovereignty goodbye. The only reason a whole range of evil countries aren’t attacking us right now is because they fear what our vast range of supremely destructive weaponry could do to them if they dared to cross the line. And, of course, sometimes it’s good to put on a little show with that very weaponry near those shameless aggressors in the Middle East just to remind them that these colors aren’t quite ready to run. We can afford it.

Proposed: What the children of this country need to compete with those wunderkinds in Europe and Asia are testing and modern classrooms. We are unable to compete on the world stage with those brilliant foreigners because, well, our technological potential just isn’t being used. This is the country that gave the world Windows 95 and XP, for heavens sake! If only we inject cash into schools and allow them all to buy zippy new computers and incorporate presentation software into the lessons of their teachers our children would see the light and compete! Math, science, English, other languages… how could they stumble when guided by monitors and hard drives? Besides, we’ll have to test them every couple of years just to make sure they aren’t failing to take use of the technology provided to them. America’s children will be the envy of the world just as they were back in some time we haven’t quite discovered yet.

Proposed: Time moves on. Certain states achieve international prominence through a combination of their own moves and those of other players on the world stage for a certain time and then, inevitably, fall back. The U.S. will not be number one forever. Perhaps it’s time we lower our expectations.

November 2, 2008

Reporters

Andrew Hamner

Opinion Columnist


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