Yeah, I pulled a Jay-Z. Or as some would say, a Cher. Whatever, you get the point. The bottom line is this bitch is back. Why, you ask? Over the summer, I was inspired by seeing the most chronicled rebirth of all time. I’m talking about Britney Spears. Watching my favorite icon take steps toward recovery, which culminated in her fabulous appearance at this year’s VMAs, I started to think that maybe I could do it too.
Like any diva considering a return, I was forced to reflect on my previous year’s work. I felt the old Hurriqueen columns were entertaining and helpful to those who asked those… um, controversial questions. However, I wondered, did the advice really help the University of Miami community as a whole?
I became consumed even during my leisure time. Lounging on the beach, knowing that whatever important advice I did give last year was overshadowed by the trashy stuff, I couldn’t even focus on tanning. I began to mourn the column and the opportunity it gave me to contribute to our community in a positive way. I regretted how all too often the forum was used to talk about sex, the least exclusive and most hyped act in all of history. So I wrote the editor of this publication, asking if I could revive my column and use it to address the juicy yet more complex stuff at the U. Thankfully, he liked the idea of a column with more substance than shock value.
But ladies and gents, I can’t reinvent this column alone; I need your help. Therefore, please don’t tempt me with your dirty predicaments this year! I want to answer serious and stimulating questions about UM-related topics and newsworthy issues that affect all of us Canes. I’m thinking more along the lines of “How do I deal with an influential professor who breaks university policies and harms my GPA?” (Interesting!) than “Why did I sleep with him?” (Boring!). Let’s not be afraid to ask questions about the inner workings of Student Government, Greek life scandals, or questionable university policies – anything that can help us understand and improve our community.
This year, I will continue my tradition of researching the best answers to your questions, but will also incorporate advice from insiders – Hurricanes in-the-know, successful seniors, and maybe a few of UM’s wise and experienced administrators. This way, the “Hurriqueen” column will be your means of getting answers to the important questions you’d only ask anonymously.
I look forward to tackling all of the topics we’ve yet to discuss… as soon as you log on to TheMiamiHurricane.com to ask a good question. Or you could be a lamb and shoot me an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.
To the fans of last year’s column: Although the direction of this column has changed, I promise to continue being fierce and frank. To those who hated it: Let’s start over. You know you want to.