Columnists

Grandma Shalala: mixture of intelligence, kindness, awesomeness
Opinion, Shalala, The Maturity Column

Grandma Shalala: mixture of intelligence, kindness, awesomeness

President Donna E. Shalala may be known for being our coveted Dumbledore, guiding us all with her strength and composure, but we students have never had the privilege of witnessing the sensitive, wants-to-spoil-you-with-sweets side that is characteristic of the grandfatherly headmaster. However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t indulge our imaginations with what kind of grandma Shalala would be. ​Personally, I had the pleasure…

HUMOR: Survey says peeing in shower commonplace
Opinion, The Maturity Column

HUMOR: Survey says peeing in shower commonplace

It was a Tuesday night. My suitemate and I were chilling in my room talking about adult stuff: the economy and “Friends” being on Netflix. While pondering the societal boundaries of Rachel buying stock in Phoebe’s new Greek life scratch-and-sniff sticker franchise, Smelly Frat, I glanced at my suitemate and proposed a question: “Do you…

Newber takes you anywhere
Opinion, The Maturity Column

Newber takes you anywhere

For those of us students who don’t have a car, there are three options for venturing off campus to go sweat publicly at the Grove: get a ride, bring mace on the Metro or call an Uber. However, as a resident of  New Jersey, I am fully aware of how scary it can be to…

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.