68.9 F
Coral Gables
Friday, March 29, 2024
March 29 , 2024

Dear reader, what’s in the frat pools?

I put forth this itching and burning query – a sensation similarly induced by the pool itself – to you dear reader, what could possibly be in the opaque vat of liquid we so shamelessly call a pool?

Dear FSU, a Miami rejection letter

Happy homecoming! I’m sure you’ve been made abundantly aware that our neighbors to the north, Florida State University, will be on our turf for a football rivalry game as old as time. No matter the outcome of Saturday’s game, we can all rest assured that we, our proud community of ‘Canes, have won the best prize of them all; Unlike the thousands of safety-school-Seminols of Talla-nasty, we got into the U. If I had the pleasure of writing one of the many rejection letters addressed to a now FSU student, it would go a little something like this:

“Put me in coach!”

If Miami football has taught me two things, it’s don’t get your hopes up, no matter who the head coach is, and block the wide receiver’s Instagram, no matter how smooth the opening line (trust me he’ll just fumble the bag). So, I’ve decided to put together my own team. Call your bookies babes, cause we’re bringing home some dubs. Meet V’s starting 11:

Swipin’ right: V’s Tinder-licious swipe guide

Even amidst the sticky atrocity that is UM’s hook-up scene, there’s a good pipe for everyone. So, I have come to share my saged wisdom and help you navigate who you horndogs should swipe right on. Thank me later.

Tailgates, Tito’s and tube tops: I love football season

It's tailgating season baby!

V’s Take: Rest in pieces, Hecht

The urine-colored floor tiles, the on-and-off again vending machines, the artsy photographs of glass blowings, the cinderblock chic aesthetic, the sock-absorbing portals behind the laundry machines and the atmosphere of detrimentally horny 18 and 19-year-olds circulating through the moldy air.

UM sports teams superlatives

Thought we'd switch it up. It's your turn to make the assumptions. Choose your answer carefully and then check yourself at the end. 1. Biggest flirt Just wearing those tight pants is flirting.2. Most ...

Valentine’s Day Sex Playlist

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, reservations are booked, candles are lit and condoms and lube are flying off the shelves at your corner pharmacy. But one essential ingredient continues t...

Kink Shaming

Dear V,Recently, I’ve realized I’m into some pretty kinky stuff in the bedroom. As much as I’m into these kinks, I haven’t been able to fully accept it and embrace my sexuality...

Homecoming DILFs

Dear V,This was my first time experiencing homecoming and I loved it. But there was something that had bothered me all week. So many of the dads are total DILFs and I would love to capitalize off of t...

V'S Take