V's Take

You’re still a virgin?

Dear V,

It’s my freshman year of college and I’m still a virgin. It’s not like I’ve avoided sex, but it just wasn’t one of my priorities. Sex doesn’t even seem like a big deal to me. I just don’t want to be judged. What should I do?


The 18-year old Virgin

Dear 18-year old Virgin,

The most extraordinary part of college is that you are about to enter a space where no one knows who you are. Finally, you are independent enough to spin your own narrative. Whether that entails the truth or not is at your own discretion.

Am I telling you to lie? Maybe. I’ve told my share of tall tales in order to avoid some judgement here and there, but unless you’ve got some Gemini in you, these tales could snowball into a deceitful snowball of self-destruction. So, if you are going to lie, keep it reasonable and short.

There is a possibility that you will find yourself laid on top of some cheap waterbed this semester, anxious that your partner is about to realize you are more of a cherry float then a seasoned expert. Keep in mind that these sexual expectations do not have to be fulfilled. The social construct of virginity requiring some kind of penetration is just an excuse to endure some boring missionary for six minutes to join the “big boys club.”

Remember in 2017, when that teen model auctioned off her virginity for $2.9 million dollars? I could probably start selling my own sloppy seconds for at least $38 a pop with that kind of evaluation. This weird analysis of a person’s sexual history as if it adds or detracts value to the human being should die with the other sexist, racist and homophobic ideals the Baby Boomer Generation expected us to follow.

Nothing is actually “lost” the first time you have sex. You just get to be horny and gross with another person instead of yourself for a change.

Regardless of your loss of your virginity or not, you’ll always have the same box it came in.



August 20, 2020


V'S Take

Around the Web

The University of Miami community is invited to participate in several events to discuss crucial topics regarding social justice and racial equality, explored in Ijeoma Oluo’s best-seller. ...

University writing experts weigh in on the inaugural poem, written and recited by Amanda Gorman, a 22-year-old U.S. youth poet laureate. ...

The number of ambassadors has been increased from 75 to 100 as the University continues to support a safe environment and help students adhere to COVID-19 guidelines. ...

The series—which will feature experts discussing their groundbreaking research on corals, ocean and atmospheric science, and how climate change is forcing communities to alter their long-range plans—will begin this week. ...

Octavia Bridges—a 20-year veteran of the University of Miami Police Department and the first Black woman to serve as a lieutenant—has been promoted to oversee crime prevention and community relations on the Coral Gables Campus. ...

TMH Twitter
About Us

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.