Fate landed me this gig for writing as V. A perfect accident that has transformed my college experience within a year. Setting free this raunchy character that has always lived behind that back door in my brain has felt incredibly relieving. I’m still not sure that my editor knew exactly what she was getting into when she casually suggested I continue the legacy of the column. She knew I could make people laugh, but what other qualifications legitimized my unsolicited advice to anyone who picked up a paper or clicked on a link?
I have never been in a relationship that lasted longer than three months, I have not slept with hundreds of girls, and I have made countless mistakes. However, the majority of my astrological makeup is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love. Yes, the lesbian is referencing astrology to make a claim about her romantic and sexual knowledge, but my life has truly revolved around finding the next person to f*ck or love.
I despise when “love” is thrown around too loosely. If you think you truly loved someone who you sometimes forget exists, you never loved them. You may have thought you loved your ex-boyfriend from high school or that girl who sucked your dick because you felt sad, but you just really liked them.
Love transcends this assumed addictive, obsessive feeling that makes you want to break every rule just to feel close to a person. It’s gentle and patient. Love is making sure your partner has the proper space while still feeling cared for. It’s learning that you don’t have to have sex in order to make the night unforgettable. Loving someone is so proud that your person is now your biggest flex. It is consuming while also exposing the rawest parts of your soul, forcing you to see the world in a way that you cannot believe you lived so long without seeing.
When you cannot be with that person, you search for them in everyone you meet. It’s knowing that even when you are not together, you will find your way back, whether in this life or the next. Even if it means that you will change your appearance, fall for another, or move across the globe. That person is a priority. Making sure they feel not only the admiration you offer to them, but that they are self aware of the true powerhouse that they are without you. True love is not needing another half in order to be a complete person. It’s wanting to share your life with another and choosing to put in effort, even when you may not elicit the response you desire.
Do you really love that person? Are you willing to put whatever you think you need or want aside for them to feel safe, loved and happy? Do you even love yourself? If the answer is no to any of these, I recommend you take this abundance of time we were handed and learn to love.
When I feel like everything is going wrong, I close my eyes and picture what it will be like waking up to everything I ever wanted. The comfort in knowing that one day I will wake up next to the love of my life, while also loving my life, makes loving myself that much more satisfying.