V's Take

The ultimate sex playlist

I cannot imagine that every girl relishes in the sounds of their butt rhythmically slapping a dude’s sweaty abdomen. A reality of sex is that it creates clapping sounds that come from places where you don’t have hands for clapping, and these noises won’t be muffled by your white noise machine and will definitely wake up your sleeping roommate. Putting on music to set the mood before sex can make things less awkward and more pleasurable. Backed by science, neuropsychologist Dr. Rhonda Freeman says that music is likely to affect three regions of the brain: the reward or pleasure system, the bonding system and the limbic system. These certified sex songs are just what the doctor ordered. Prescription signed with a capital V, get ready to bust down to these jams for every version of doing the dirty.

“Who’s Gonna (Nobody)” by Chris Brown

Normally not the best decision for your mental state and general well being, it makes sense that this break up sex jam is by Chris Brown. The beat takes a turn when Breezy raps and gives an opportunity to quicken up the pace. However, these bars don’t compare to the ones he should be behind in prison.

“Get You” by Daniel Caesar (feat. Kali Uchis)

You found the one. He was wearing a throwback NBA jersey and backwards hat when he pushed up behind you at the Grove, but now his jean shorts are coming off. It’s time to make sweet love to the deep soulful vocals of Daniel Caesar, and this slow burner is not only pleasure for your ears.

“Disrespectful” by Trey Songz (feat. Mila J)

College students live in a world of temptations whether it be through lack of curfew or the cookies at the dining hall. The man who invented sex sings so sweetly about acting badly that you might think that letting your side piece’s banana into your fruit salad wasn’t the worst move.

“Partition” by Beyoncé

Honestly, if your playlist is just this song on repeat, that’s fine. It’s perfect if you are buzzed in the back of your Uber or Lyft coming back to the dorms after a sexually tense night out at E11EVEN. Let’s just hope that your boy toy’s alcohol tolerance doesn’t turn this banger limp.

“Our First Time” by Bruno Mars

Each time you have sex with a different person, it feels like your first time all over again. This tender, reggae-influenced ballad makes your closet sized dorm truly feel like the “big old empty room.” I imagine that Bruno Mars is quite the gentle lover. Post-sex spooning with a 5’5” man? I call that a backpack.

“G.U.Y.” by Lady Gaga

This one is for the gays, but I’ll let the straights in on a little secret: Lady Gaga can make a good sex song without referring to a penis as a “disco stick.” Take a break, and let your partner do the work. Enjoy being the G.U.Y (girl under you) for once.

To listen to the V’s sex playlist, click here.

November 12, 2019

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V'S Take


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