Dear V,
There is this super sweet guy I met in one of my classes who seems genuinely interested in dating me. A combination of college hookup culture and wounds from past relationships have made catching feelings my biggest fear. I am afraid that this possible prince charming will go ghost by the time Halloween rolls around, and I don’t mean in costume. Should I give him a chance or keep my guard up?
Sincerely,
Booless
Dear Booless,
The first girl I ever truly loved told me that she was head-over-heels for me two weeks before she became distant. After days of ignoring me over winter break, she dumped me. Not only was she no longer my girlfriend, but she was not coming back to Miami for spring semester. I knew she wasn’t in the best state of mind, but moving back home to the cesspool that is the state of New Jersey didn’t seem any better. We never fulfilled the empty promises to keep in touch.
Since the emotional whiplash, I have become much more protective of myself. What can you expect from college? Of course girls are going to be gone after getting sucked, it’s like I’m a lesbian ghostbuster.
Despite all of this, I encourage you to feel everything. You are going to get your heart broken a million times, so you might as well treasure the tender, yearning moments that come with newfound infatuation.
There is nothing that crushes a spirit like wasted potential. A lot of skeletons will lead you on, so when you come across someone with the actual guts to pursue you, welcome it.
Since my break up, I have felt the bubbling of those wicked feelings brewing for a few others. The difference is that when I fall for someone, I make sure to fall reasonably. Being in love does not equate to one person being your only source of happiness. That sort of vulnerability is toxic and unhealthy.
Open yourself up this Halloween. Whether prince charming or ghost, you never know what he will turn into at midnight.
Best,
V