V's Take

Face your fears. Watch some porn.

Dear V,

I have never watched porn. Just the mere idea of two people batter-dipping the corn dog on film nearly disgusts me. My roommate just told me that she regularly uses porn to get off, and she was shocked when I told her I’ve never used it. Is it that unusual for women to not use porn?

Best,

Naked and Afraid

Dear Naked and Afraid,

With spooky season about to enter full swing, it’s time you get comfy, open up an incognito tab, and face your fears. You need to watch some porn.

Let me explain why. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being made uncomfortable by porn. However, there is a difference between not enjoying pornography and actually fearing it. You should have zero fear of a silly, dramatized version of something as normal as a lil bam bam in the ham ham.

My recommendation is that you check out the amateur category. It does not contain all the grossly over exaggerated features that are the products of a patriarchal industry that solely produces material for men, which is quite possibly the true horror of the porn industry.

Don’t let people fool you that watching porn will make you better at sex. Girls can religiously watch Gordon Ramsay’s cooking show, but rely solely on their microwave. As well, I know boys who consume porn like it’s their daily probiotic, and can finish at the same time it takes for those girls to make Minute Rice.

Porn is just a fun way to experiment as to what you may be into. As the United States representative for the Masturbation Olympics, I would be lying if I said I haven’t gone into a PornHub deep dive late at night when I’m feeling extra curious. Using porn as a tool to learn what turns you on and off can be much more comfortable than trying to experiment with a partner. Thereby, you can take action based on your own discretion.

Don’t let porn be that monster under your bed. It seems terrifying in theory, but it’s all in your head.

Best,

V

October 7, 2019

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V'S Take


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