Dear V,
This semester I have begun to realize that someone who I have only considered a friend for the past year may be an opportunity for friends with benefits. Do you think it’s a good idea to welcome some strictly sexual fun while maintaining what we have?
Dear Reader,
Through my experiences, I have learned that I am no Justin Timberlake. Which means I do not live in the 2011 blockbuster hit “Friends With Benefits,” so zero hijinks ensue that end in a passionate romance, and absolutely no sex with Mila Kunis.
A few weeks ago, I hooked up with a friend for the first time who I used to refer to as kind of an older sister. I would like to blame it on the fact that I was intoxicated rather than further strengthen the argument that white people inherently want to make out with a sibling. As I pulled away from the makeout session, I immediately regretted it, I never planned for it to happen, but it did, in a bathroom stall. We haven’t spoken about it since, and I would rather repress the situation as effectively as I did with middle school. Our friendship remains but it’s not the same.
There have been other times I have hooked up with a friend where it was premeditated. Still controversial, since the other beneficial companion was not only close with my best friend, but also an FSU student and her skills were impressive. I guess when your school sucks so much, you might as well be good at it too. After a few hook up sessions, I started to feel the pull of unwanted strings that I had to pretend weren’t there. We are connected on a deeper level, yet would never entertain a romantic relationship nor could we end things. In short, it’s complicated.
My advice is that if you are content with your friendship, keep it in your pants. If curiosity drives you to blur the lines, keep communication open and set boundaries. You may just end up having sex with a less-middle-aged Justin Timberlake.
Love,
V