V's Take

He’s got the yum yum sauce

Dear V,

There is this really hot waiter that works at the Benihana in the Grove. The first time I laid eyes on the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, he was singing a Japanese birthday song to my friend with the rest of the staff. How do I get him to give me some of his yum yum sauce without spending all my college budget on fried rice and onion volcanoes, hoping he will notice me?

Dear Reader,

I’m committed to getting you an encore of his performance, except the Japanese birthday song will be sung in private and between your legs.

Let’s weigh the risks. If you succeed, you will be ingesting more yum yum sauce this fall than students at the hibachi stand on Market Wednesdays. If you fail, there are always other places to get your fix.

Your bank account will not allow you to be subtle, since you can’t leave Benihana without spending at least a third of your weekly budget. The next time you make a reservation, you have to make it count.

Ask to sit in his section. When he approaches your table, tell him you remember him from when you were at the birthday dinner. Make conversation and maintain good eye contact. Just seeming interested will go a long way, since most customers only communicate with staff when they need to bark their orders.

At the end of your dinner, it’s time to shoot your shot. After you fill out the receipt, leave him your number and a flirty message. Let him know that you also accept tips. Big tips.

If he asks if you want a box for your leftovers, throw him a wink and tell him you would rather wrestle for it.

Best,

V

August 27, 2019

Reporters

V'S Take


Around the Web

Travis Montaque, founder and CEO of Holler.io, will share how understanding his customers helped him ...

The University of Miami’s museum marks an important milestone. ...

Using lidar technology to peer through thick vegetation, researchers are learning more about the lon ...

University Archives invites the community to visit the exhibition at the Otto G. Richter Library bef ...

The University will work with binational members in the U.S. and Mexico to carry out multidisciplina ...

TMH Twitter
About Us

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.