We’re less than ten days out, and you’ve successfully convinced your boyfriend not to break up with you before Valentine’s Day.
It’s the holiday of romantic dinners, secret love notes, bouquets of red roses (which your man bought at Publix), dirty Snapchats, chocolate strawberries, and of course, pregnancy scares! I mean, if you didn’t go to CVS the morning after to awkwardly ask the counter attendant for Plan B, does it even count as a Valentine’s Day date?
Please don’t answer that.
So you’ve already planned out that outfit you’ve been dying to wear with the plunging neckline your parents definitely wouldn’t approve of. You already know you’re going to eat a light dinner (as the real meal comes afterwards) and you’re making up your mind of whether this special occasion is getting the profile post treatment on Instagram versus the always classy story post with caption #phoneseatfirst. To all my basic bitches out there spending Thursday nights at Komodo in South Beach, you know what I’m talking about.
Whatever your plans may be, make sure to grab a handful of those free condoms that are surprisingly accessible in the freshman dorms or Mahoney-Pearson lobbies. The university spends thousands on them each month, so put them to work.
Forget the Netflix and skip right to the chill. Crack open the wine (if you’re 21+), load up those Lionel Richie records, and crack open the coconut oil you swore you’d only use for cooking. Cupid won’t be the only one with a magic arrow come next Thursday night.
And for those without partner to spend Valentine’s Day with, we haven’t forgotten about you. Come back next week for “Surviving V-Day Alone,” which is your guide to escaping the single person’s worst nightmare.