V's Take

V’s break from celibacy

Welcome back, Horny-Canes. V knows what you’ve been up to this past week. And V has participated.

It’s like the first week of the fall semester – a flood of hormones fills campus, like the Boston Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Look it up.

It’s the 100 year anniversary of that by the way, and that’s how long it felt like since I had… uh… my storage tank burst – if you know what I mean.

As many of you have experienced, heading home for break means a lot less action.

Controlling parents, annoying siblings and temperatures below 60 also means less of a will to live.

But I became full of life as soon as I returned to campus to a full inbox of Tinder and Hinge messages.

That lead to a fun and active start to the semester. I definitely burned off my holiday calories through some vigorous physical activity, and I’m not talking about a class at the pretty new Wellness center.

Break is over, and so is my break from the vicious cycle of f**king then catching feelings.

I am in love. Again. With a boy who will never love me back.

He pierced my heart and another body part, and now I want to marry him and have his babies and cook for him.

Totally normal, right?

It’s tragic because cuffing season is coming to a close, but I do have a little bit of hope.

Hopefully this chilly weather means cuddles and catching feelings.

Do you want to cuddle and catch feelings? Do you think I’m weird? If so, slide into my DMs like it’s 2002 by emailing dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

January 22, 2019

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V'S Take


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.