Big news – V is single.
If you’ve been reading this column for a while it may come as a surprise since I talked about how in love I was for an impressive 257 days straight. But things change, and sometimes you have to make like Elsa and let it go.
To be clear, I wasn’t the one who chose to let go of my relationship. My ex dropped off the face of the earth, refused to see me then blocked me on everything. Like a toddler.
He even blocked me on Venmo, so I can’t Venmo him a penny to get his attention.
Looking back, I think my relationship was more toxic than Britney Spears dancing in a puddle of nuclear waste. (Alexa, play ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears.)
Of course I was sad and drank gallons of red wine in bed while watching Grey’s Anatomy, but I think I got that summertime sadness out of my system. Now, it’s nice to finally be able to focus on myself.
Like I’ve said in the past, relationships aren’t healthy when you solely depend on your boyfriend for love, affection and attention. (It’s almost like I have daddy issues…who would have thought?)
In retrospect, I think I was the best part of the relationship. I was open, honest and didn’t lie about very important details of my personal life or try to compensate for the little things – well one little thing – for the whole relationship.
And at least I reciprocated in the bedroom.
V is single and ready to…stay single. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m ready to take all the the best things I offered up in my relationship and keep them mostly to myself and my friends.
I feel happier and better now that I’m not struggling to keep a sinking ship afloat, and other people have said the same. Now let’s pray that I don’t catch feelings for a frat boy on Tinder.
Are you a frat boy who wants to make V catch feelings and throw away everything she said in this column? Are you V’s ex who wants to finally contact her and yell about this column? Are you a concerned bystander worried that V is spiraling? If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes,’ email firstname.lastname@example.org.