V is finally getting laid again.
But after a few months of abstinence, V needed to take a trip to the store to get supplies. Whether you’re in a relationship, single or it’s complicated, we can all agree that safe and comfortable sex is sexy.
The best place to start is aisle A36 of the Dadeland Target. We’re talking the not-so-sexy condom aisle.
The act of buying the supplies isn’t what stresses me out; it’s the judgmental glances from the other shoppers. I don’t need judgement from people who buy their ground beef from the same place they buy their Kindle Fire.
On this particular day, the side-eye came from a 50-something-year-old woman who was, for some reason, buying tampons. We know they aren’t for you sweetie; you’re drier than the Sahara down there.
This woman walked by me and looked at me, then the condoms, then back at me and shook her head. She looked more shocked than I did when I first saw shirtless Julio Frenk.
The only time I have been judged harder for getting condoms was by an RA at the front desk of Hecht Residential College. Because nothing encourages safe sex like creating a hostile condom-grabbing experience.
This made me wonder – why the stigma around buying sex supplies?
If Target made Mossimo or Merona-brand condoms, everyone would be lining up to buy them without shame. Especially Sahara vagina lady. We definitely know she’d be there.
The snarky, judging glances will always be there, but who cares? You’re probably never going to see these people again. And if you do, so what? You got laid!
Most adults have sex. Even Sahara lady, who is probably into some really kinky stuff. But remember, it’s best to do it safely.
A few judgmental looks in a Target now can save you from a lot of judgmental protesters outside a Planned Parenthood later. Ignore them – they’re probably jealous.
Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com