V's Take

Stick with safe sex, even if you get judged by middle-aged adults for it

V is finally getting laid again.

But after a few months of abstinence, V needed to take a trip to the store to get supplies. Whether you’re in a relationship, single or it’s complicated, we can all agree that safe and comfortable sex is sexy.

The best place to start is aisle A36 of the Dadeland Target. We’re talking the not-so-sexy condom aisle.

The act of buying the supplies isn’t what stresses me out; it’s the judgmental glances from the other shoppers. I don’t need judgement from people who buy their ground beef from the same place they buy their Kindle Fire.

On this particular day, the side-eye came from a 50-something-year-old woman who was, for some reason, buying tampons. We know they aren’t for you sweetie; you’re drier than the Sahara down there.

This woman walked by me and looked at me, then the condoms, then back at me and shook her head. She looked more shocked than I did when I first saw shirtless Julio Frenk.

The only time I have been judged harder for getting condoms was by an RA at the front desk of Hecht Residential College. Because nothing encourages safe sex like creating a hostile condom-grabbing experience.

This made me wonder – why the stigma around buying sex supplies?

If Target made Mossimo or Merona-brand condoms, everyone would be lining up to buy them without shame. Especially Sahara vagina lady. We definitely know she’d be there.

The snarky, judging glances will always be there, but who cares? You’re probably never going to see these people again. And if you do, so what? You got laid!

Most adults have sex. Even Sahara lady, who is probably into some really kinky stuff. But remember, it’s best to do it safely.

A few judgmental looks in a Target now can save you from a lot of judgmental protesters outside a Planned Parenthood later. Ignore them – they’re probably jealous.

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com

February 19, 2018

Reporters

V'S Take


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The word “swag” was mentioned multiple times Tuesday at the inaugural Miami Hurricanes spring practi ...

How did Tate Martell’s Phoenix-based attorney, Travis Leach, convince the NCAA to permit Martell to ...

After a quick courtship, Daran Branch is the newest member of the Miami Hurricanes’ Class of 2020. A ...

The Miami Hurricanes’ high-profile quarterback competition just got super spicy. Tate Martell, the 2 ...

Lots of Hurricanes nuggets on the first day of spring practice: ▪ The UM offense officially entered ...

Watch a video about the Annual Senior Showcase involving students in the Theatre Arts Program. ...

Become one in a million. Join the All of Us research program. ...

With Florida lifting the ban on smokable medical marijuana, the nursing school’s Denise Vidot answer ...

Three School of Architecture students recount their first day in Switzerland, and some of the archit ...

In the aftermath of the powerful tornado that devastated a rural Alabama community, a UM storm exper ...

The University of Miami football program announced Tuesday that the National Collegiate Athletic Ass ...

Hear from the Hurricanes as they opened up day one of spring football inside the IPF. ...

The Miami women's basketball team received a No. 4-seed in the NCAA Tournament and will host th ...

Miami rises 13 spots to No. 23 nationally. ...

Going a perfect 5-0 in doubles action, freshmen Franco Aubone and Francisco Bastias collected Miami ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.