V's Take

Stick with safe sex, even if you get judged by middle-aged adults for it

V is finally getting laid again.

But after a few months of abstinence, V needed to take a trip to the store to get supplies. Whether you’re in a relationship, single or it’s complicated, we can all agree that safe and comfortable sex is sexy.

The best place to start is aisle A36 of the Dadeland Target. We’re talking the not-so-sexy condom aisle.

The act of buying the supplies isn’t what stresses me out; it’s the judgmental glances from the other shoppers. I don’t need judgement from people who buy their ground beef from the same place they buy their Kindle Fire.

On this particular day, the side-eye came from a 50-something-year-old woman who was, for some reason, buying tampons. We know they aren’t for you sweetie; you’re drier than the Sahara down there.

This woman walked by me and looked at me, then the condoms, then back at me and shook her head. She looked more shocked than I did when I first saw shirtless Julio Frenk.

The only time I have been judged harder for getting condoms was by an RA at the front desk of Hecht Residential College. Because nothing encourages safe sex like creating a hostile condom-grabbing experience.

This made me wonder – why the stigma around buying sex supplies?

If Target made Mossimo or Merona-brand condoms, everyone would be lining up to buy them without shame. Especially Sahara vagina lady. We definitely know she’d be there.

The snarky, judging glances will always be there, but who cares? You’re probably never going to see these people again. And if you do, so what? You got laid!

Most adults have sex. Even Sahara lady, who is probably into some really kinky stuff. But remember, it’s best to do it safely.

A few judgmental looks in a Target now can save you from a lot of judgmental protesters outside a Planned Parenthood later. Ignore them – they’re probably jealous.

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com

February 19, 2018


V'S Take

Around the Web
  • Error
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: fsocket timed out

Hosmay Lopez, a meteorologist at the University of Miami Cooperative Institute for Marine and Atmosp ...

UM alumna Shirley Hoffman Kilkelly was one of the few women engineers who worked on the Apollo 11 mo ...

College of Engineering alumnus Frank DeMattia was just 21 years old when he went to work at NASA on ...

Registered dietitian Stephanie Sanchez shares realistic, healthy ways to get you on track and headed ...

The overnight pre-orientation program – now in its 30th year – welcomes newly admitted first-year co ...

Sophomore tight end Brevin Jordan was among the 60 players named to the 2019 John Mackey Award Prese ...

Estela Perez-Somarriba of the Miami women's tennis team added yet another elite accolade to her ...

Redshirt senior wide receiver K.J. Osborn was among six ACC players named to The Biletnikoff Award W ...

The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) has awarded the University of Miami a 2019 NCAA ...

Dane Dunlap, William Grattan-Smith and Franco Aubone were each selected as All-Academic Scholar Athl ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.