V's Take

When easing into relationships, respect your partner’s pace

As you may or may not know, V is trying to get cuffed.

I know, it’s surprising to me, too. The transition from hooking up with hoes in Hondas to being housewife-y seems impossible, but I’m making it work – or trying to anyway.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it seems like everyone is after sex. Who doesn’t like the D … Or the V … Or neither … Or both … Or both at the same time. V does not kink shame.

But as we’ve discussed in the past, sex isn’t really what draws the line between friendships and relationships. Plenty of people are screwing each other and haven’t DTRed, while numerous cute couples are saving themselves for marriage.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your relationship, it’s important to talk about your expectations so neither partner gets disappointed. Intimacy can have a million and one definitions, but regardless of which one you choose, it’s an essential part of any relationship.

It’s important to remember that making out and cuddling can be more intimate and pleasurable than doing the dirty sometimes. Often, the foreplay is better than the actual sex – especially if your partner finishes fast.

Think about it: What is the longest amount of time you’ve spent having sex? How long have you spent cuddling?

It’s likely the cuddle time is much greater than the penetrating time. (For me, the answers were 13 minutes and 12 hours, respectively.)

Different people want to do different things at different speeds, and I totally respect and understand that because #ConsentIsSexy.

Sure, you can stall by using your hands and fingers (and toys, too) as a stand in, but it’s nowhere close to the level of intimacy and pleasure you can get from your partner, no matter how sexy they look in their tagged Insta photos.

But you have to remember it’s a big step for someone who usually goes hardcore on the first night to take it slow.

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

January 29, 2018

Reporters

V'S Take


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

The Miami Hurricanes will have plenty of talent on both sides of the ball this season, and four play ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

University of Miami law and political science professors weigh in on Trump’s SCOTUS nominee. ...

Research bioclimatologists with the UM Synoptic Climatology Lab counsel cities on how to manage risi ...

A UM-led study is examining how children’s play behavior at beaches could impact their health. ...

Miami junior wide receiver Ahmmon Richards was among those named to the watch list for the 2018 Bile ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

The University of Miami's volleyball team earned the American Volleyball Coaches Association (A ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.