V's Take

Staying cuffed while away from bae for the holiday

The semester is winding down, and that means V has been getting asked one pressing question again and again: What happens when I’m separated from my bae over break?

This is part of TMH’s Question and Answer edition, which means your favorite sexy sex columnist is going to give you a very questionable answer on this important topic.

It’s been said that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but whoever said that was tripping harder than palm tree girl at Ultra 2013.

In my experience, absence rips your heart out, shoots it, runs it over with a bulldozer and then lights it on fire … multiple times each day.

It starts with missing little things about your bae, then escalates to full-blown FOMO. It may even morph into anxiety about whether your bae is being loyal – all in the span of a few weeks.

Like many students, I’ve been looking forward to Dec. 20 since the post-Irma semester started. But thinking about leaving makes me want to stay in this end-of-semester hell forever. It always seems relationships with friends and boos build all semester and peak two weeks before it ends, and then we just leave it all behind for a month.

So how do you cope with this and make sure you’re not bitter about your bae when you’re reunited in January? Talk about it. You have to talk about expectations and define the relationship if you haven’t already.

There’s nothing worse than hearing about your bae messing around with a hometown hottie over the holidays while you try to channel your inner Virgin Mary, so communication is key.

Text your person 40 times a day to remind them not only that you exist but that you are a charming, delightful gift they can come back to after the holidays. Harass them to keep a Snapchat streak going. FaceTime them each night and complain about your family or how depressed your hometown makes you.

Even if you’re not physically with your honey, there’s no reason you can’t make it seem that way. After all, this is the 21st century. And even if you made it out of Miami cuffing season shackle-free, this advice applies to friendships, too.

V wishes a happy holiday season to all you ho-ho-hos. If you want to ask V a question, email dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

December 11, 2017


V'S Take

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