V’s Take: Last Minute Halloween Costumes
Happy Halloween, Hurricanes! ‘Tis the season when way too many people wear lingerie with bunny ears and call it a “costume.”
If you’re looking to get a little more creative, V has some great ideas for last minute costumes. But since this is a sex column, all of the costumes are sexy. You’ll also be sexy if you wear them.
Everybody is obsessing over this creepy clown. Put on a clown wig and a polka dot bathing suit. Just make sure the carpet matches the drapes.
Sexy Melania Trump
Start with an unnecessarily high pair of heels and some oversized sunglasses. Then, look like you’re confused and don’t want to be wherever you are.
Sexy President Frenk
We’ve all seen the shirtless picture. Channel it by doing your hair up nice and staring seductively into a camera. Don’t forget to throw up the U.
Sexy Fake News
Cover up your unmentionables with a newspaper. Write FAKE on your stomach with eyeliner.
Note: TMH is real news, so you cannot use the paper you’re currently reading.
Sexy Adam or Sexy Eve
Find a friendly neighborhood tree and politely ask it if you can borrow some leaves, then use them to cover up the goods. Add an apple from the dining hall as a prop. If you dress as Adam, you get a bonus if you provide your own snake.
Sexy Darth Vader
You probably know someone with a Darth Vader mask. Ask to borrow it, and wear it with some sexy spanks or a sports bra. The best part about wearing a heavy plastic mask is that you won’t have to make eye contact with the people judging you.
Do you think V missed something? Did you wear any of these costumes and want to submit a pic? Let me know – email firstname.lastname@example.org.