V's Take

Dear V: He stood me up … now what?

Dear V,

I’ve been dating a guy on and off for a few months, and I really like him. We just click. The vibe is natural, and I feel a spark between us. That being said, he keeps giving me mixed signals.

He’s been asking me to hang out for about a few weeks now, but our schedules don’t mesh well. Finally, I was available, so I asked him if he could hang out the next day. He said yes, but then proceeded to ignore my texts the whole day we had plans. I was left just sitting around waiting for a reply. Later that night he sent me a half-assed excuse about being busy with an overtime shift at work.

I’m not too concerned that he’s lying – frankly, he’s a workaholic and would jump at the chance of extra shifts – but he didn’t care at all that he left me hanging all day, and he didn’t care at all that he’d hurt my feelings by bailing like that.

It’s just confusing. He checks in with me all the time and talks on the phone for hours. Would someone really put in that much effort just to bail?

I care about this guy and feel there’s something between us, but I don’t want to date a guy that’s a total no-show either. Please help!

Sincerely,

Ditched Diana

Dear Diana,

He probably does like you, and he probably does want to meet up. You’re right – there’s no reason to put in that much effort unless he does want to see you in person.

That said, some people are only capable of thinking about themselves. If he never intended to hang out that day, he shouldn’t have agreed to plans with you. Or, if something came up, he should have just taken five seconds out of his day to text a simple “Sorry, can’t make it.”

Instead, he intentionally ignored you and left you hanging. Whether he likes you or not, why would you want to date someone like that? Sure, if he had an emergency or change of plans that’s understandable, but he should have let you know. That’s just common courtesy.

My advice? Ditch the guy. He sounds like a flake, and he doesn’t respect you or your time. If he did, he would have given you a heads-up.

This might have even been a power play. He stood you up, so you’ll feel down and come running back the next time he wants to hang out – on his terms, of course.

Don’t play childish games like that. Move on to an adult.

– V

February 8, 2017

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

It wasn’t long ago when the Miami Hurricanes’ Class of 2020 included the top three rising senior pro ...

The Atlantic Coast Conference Baseball Championship schedule is set. The No. 4 seed Miami Hurricanes ...

The first regular season of Gino DiMare’s head-coaching era ended Saturday at Mark Light Field. But ...

The Miami Hurricanes’ hopes for hosting an NCAA regional were damaged a bit on Friday night by a 12- ...

It took a long time for Dewan Hernandez to reach a point of acceptance for what happened to his juni ...

Imagine simulating diabetes, lung cancer, or heart disease on a device no larger than a credit card. ...

Alabama’s new abortion law puts the issue of women’s rights in the spotlight for the upcoming 2020 e ...

The University of Miami is shaping the future of education by using innovative approaches that drive ...

Six short films created by University of Miami film students will be screened in Los Angeles this we ...

Researchers from 16 Latin American and Caribbean countries, hosted by the Institute for the Advanced ...

Four Miami Hurricanes were among those recognized by the Atlantic Coast Conference Monday for their ...

The University of Miami track and field program garnered 20 entries in the 2019 NCAA East Preliminar ...

Miami's schedule features seven matches against teams that reached the NCAA Championship. ...

The Canes head to the ACC Baseball Championship ranked in the top 20 in every major poll. ...

Beatrice Mompremier of the Miami women's basketball team will once again represent her country ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.