V's Take

Dear V: He stood me up … now what?

Dear V,

I’ve been dating a guy on and off for a few months, and I really like him. We just click. The vibe is natural, and I feel a spark between us. That being said, he keeps giving me mixed signals.

He’s been asking me to hang out for about a few weeks now, but our schedules don’t mesh well. Finally, I was available, so I asked him if he could hang out the next day. He said yes, but then proceeded to ignore my texts the whole day we had plans. I was left just sitting around waiting for a reply. Later that night he sent me a half-assed excuse about being busy with an overtime shift at work.

I’m not too concerned that he’s lying – frankly, he’s a workaholic and would jump at the chance of extra shifts – but he didn’t care at all that he left me hanging all day, and he didn’t care at all that he’d hurt my feelings by bailing like that.

It’s just confusing. He checks in with me all the time and talks on the phone for hours. Would someone really put in that much effort just to bail?

I care about this guy and feel there’s something between us, but I don’t want to date a guy that’s a total no-show either. Please help!


Ditched Diana

Dear Diana,

He probably does like you, and he probably does want to meet up. You’re right – there’s no reason to put in that much effort unless he does want to see you in person.

That said, some people are only capable of thinking about themselves. If he never intended to hang out that day, he shouldn’t have agreed to plans with you. Or, if something came up, he should have just taken five seconds out of his day to text a simple “Sorry, can’t make it.”

Instead, he intentionally ignored you and left you hanging. Whether he likes you or not, why would you want to date someone like that? Sure, if he had an emergency or change of plans that’s understandable, but he should have let you know. That’s just common courtesy.

My advice? Ditch the guy. He sounds like a flake, and he doesn’t respect you or your time. If he did, he would have given you a heads-up.

This might have even been a power play. He stood you up, so you’ll feel down and come running back the next time he wants to hang out – on his terms, of course.

Don’t play childish games like that. Move on to an adult.

– V

February 8, 2017



Advice Columnist

Around the Web

Karin Wilkins, dean of the University of Miami School of Communication, examines the challenges faci ...

The new testing effort, announced Friday by Mayor Carlos A. Gimenez, will use a finger prick to chec ...

A University of Miami scientist is awarded a Pew grant to study coral reef restoration in the Caribb ...

How the choices made by Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl during the Holocaust changed the course ...

A medical specialist with the University of Miami Health System and the Miller School of Medicine ha ...

TMH Twitter
About Us

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.