Election 2016, Opinion, Satire

Satire: Canes4GaryJohnson student group on election: “Wait…was that today?”

The Libertarian political group on campus, Canes4GaryJohnson, has had a rough election cycle. From their loss in the UM geography tournament, to their embarrassing performance in the “Name a Foreign Person” question at the Rat’s Trivia Night, the group has seen better days. Today was definitely not one of those better days.

According to their president, John Shoe, the group was unaware that the election was being held today.

“Wait…was that today?” said Shoe. “We had a whole Facebook event planned and everything.”

This is another tough blow to Canes4GaryJohnson. Just last week the group’s formal request to mandate every exam given be non-cumulative multiple choice was rejected by administration.

A representative of the dean’s office said, “It just didn’t make sense. That’s not how it works. We understand that you are unhappy with what’s going on right now, but this is just not feasible.”

“The system is so unfair and needs to change,” said Shoe. “How can we be expected to respond to difficult questions without the answer being written for us already?”

Under the current academic examination system, the Canes4GaryJohnson Executive Board has failed to average above five percent. Despite the setback, they are still expected to score better on their final exams than Johnson in the popular vote.

Conner Barrett is a sophomore majoring in political science.

November 8, 2016

Reporters

Conner Barrett


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

They were way below the radar coming into the 1983 season. And after their 28-3 opening-game loss to ...

In the opening eight minutes on Saturday — and the final seven minutes — FIU looked like a team that ...

The N’Kosi Perry era is here. Whether it’s here to stay is yet to be seen. The fans got what they wa ...

Ten takeaways from UM’s 31-17 win against FIU on Saturday at Hard Rock Stadium: ▪ Credit Mark Richt ...

As the Miami Hurricanes started their third series against the FIU Panthers on Saturday afternoon, t ...

Get Out The Vote, a nonpartisan initiative headed by the Division of Student Affairs and the Butler ...

University of Miami Libraries commemorates Banned Books Week with a special event and display. ...

A year after UPup’s founding father met his match, the service club is realizing its goal of becomin ...

UM students, faculty and staff commemorated the five-year anniversary of the Donna E. Shalala Studen ...

Miami’s Turnover Chain inspires copycats, but the U’s turnover prop has a ‘cool factor.’ ...

N'Kosi Perry and a dominant Miami defense led the Hurricanes to a 31-17 victory over the Panthe ...

Estela Perez-Somarriba of the Miami women's tennis team is headed to the championship of one th ...

The Miami women's tennis team posted a 5-2 mark in official matches on the second day of the Mi ...

Freshman Riley Howard continued her incredible start as a Canes cross country runner setting another ...

The University of Miami soccer team is set to host Virginia Tech Sunday at noon at Cobb Stadium. ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.