Dear V,
The last few weeks, my best friend has been increasingly difficult.
At the football game last weekend, it was the final straw.
We’re both partiers, so I’m used to being the designated driver, and I don’t mind holding her hair back while she’s hunched over the toilet.
That’s what friends are for, right? College isn’t college without a little fun.
However, before the football game, we went to a tailgate at a frat house. She got way too drunk and hit on every guy in the frat. At one point, she dragged a random guy over to me and asked him, “Who’s prettier, me or her?”
The guy obviously felt uncomfortable and walked away. Once he refused to answer, she did the unthinkable: she asked my boyfriend if he’d date her if I wasn’t her best friend.
What?
I mean, I understand that people say dumb stuff when they’re drunk. I’ve said things I wish I could take back.
But why would she even ask that question?
My best friend texted me a dozen times apologizing, saying she doesn’t remember what she said, but our friends told her that she went way too far.
I love my best friend, and I know that sometimes we have to forgive each other’s dumbassery, but this was too much.
How do I know I can even trust her around my boyfriend now? Please help.
Sincerely,
Befuddled Bestie
Dear Befuddled Bestie,
You claim she’s your best friend, but she doesn’t act like one.
Between comparing herself to you, putting you in awkward situations, humiliating herself in front of your friends and hitting on your boyfriend, none of those things scream “best friend ever” to me.
Now, everybody makes mistakes. It’s true, I’m sure you can think of things you’ve done that you wish you could take back … and I’m sure if you counted them, they’d go past single digits.
That said, what your best friend did was still wildly inappropriate. You shouldn’t question why she acted so ridiculous when drunk, because that’s what most people do when drunk.
Rather, you should question why one of her first impulses was to hit on your boyfriend.
If this is the first time something like this has happened, let it go. There’s all different types of drunks, and it sounds like your friend is the flirty type.
However, if she’s flirted with your boyfriend before, don’t let her pull a Jamie Foxx and “Blame It” on the booze.
Remember, a drunk bestie’s words are a sober bestie’s thoughts.
At the least, keep your boyfriend and her separate for a while, for your relationship’s own good. At the most, give your best friend the boot, and let her hit on your other friends’ guys for a while.
-V