Opinion, Satire

Students outraged that professor prioritizes academics over social media

Thalia Garcia // Staff Illustrator

Thalia Garcia // Staff Illustrator

History professor Neal Smith has been criticized recently for his apparent lack of concern for the social-media time commitments of students. Smith has been accused of being intentionally ignorant of the needs of students and for assigning homework that is “pointless and boring.”

“Does he not realize that I need to check Facebook every two minutes, Twitter every five minutes and Instagram every four?” asked sophomore Emma Nichols. “He assigned a reading that was from an actual book. Are you kidding me? It’s just crazy that a man who has dedicated his life to academia and scholarly publications can be so much dumber than a group of 20-year-olds who assess their self-worth using Facebook likes.”

Junior Daniel Owens expressed a similar sentiment.

“I need to flip back to my Facebook tab four times every minute in case a person I vaguely knew in high school posts a picture of himself clearly inebriated. Or what if I post a picture from my weekend and need to check for notifications? That’s simply impossible to do with the work that Smith assigns. He just doesn’t accommodate the superficial desire for social-media recognition that will further my hopeless journey towards unattainable self-actualization,” Owens said.

Both Nichols and Owens explained that between the classes they skip on a weekly basis, social media and nothing else, they just do not have time to read the assigned chapters.

Smith, a professor of post-classical European history, has tried to defend his teaching methods.

“I simply assigned a 30-page reading about Johannes Gutenberg and the invention of the printing press,” Smith said. “I didn’t think it was unreasonable. It is a fascinating chapter that effectively shows how crucial the printing press was to the dissemination of information to the mass public and how it began a new era of education and information techniques. The Holy Roman Empire used it to great effect to spread – wait, are you actually still listening? By this point most of my students are looking at Instagram pictures that were posted 20 weeks ago by people they’ve never met in person.”

Conner Barrett is a freshman majoring in political science. The quotations used in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real entities is purely coincidental.

April 6, 2016

Reporters

Conner Barrett


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

A six-pack of UM notes on a Monday: ▪ There has been no more popular or successful quarterback at UM ...

The Miami Hurricanes’ defense leads the nation in tackles for loss and stopping opponents on third d ...

The No. 21 University of Miami and FIU have met twice in football. But, oh, what a history they have ...

When University of Miami star safety Jaquan Johnson, thought by many to be the best player on the te ...

University of Miami backup tailback DeeJay Dallas, who had his first career 100-yard rushing game Sa ...

UM President Julio Frenk outlined the strategies of the Roadmap to Our New Century, part of his Stat ...

Listeners to UM President Julio Frenk’s State of the U reacted positively to the message and the Uni ...

At UM’s inaugural State of the U address, President Julio Frenk detailed the strategies of the Roadm ...

Tropical storm scientists and climate experts at the University of Miami provided insight, observati ...

Joseph Ganitsky, a professor in the Miami Business School, examines the financial crisis facing Arge ...

Miami remained ranked in both major polls Sunday, checking in at No. 21 in the Associated Press Top ...

The Miami Hurricanes came to Toledo, Ohio for the biggest home game in the history of Toledo footbal ...

A quartet of University of Miami men's tennis student-athletes concluded the final day of compe ...

The University of Miami women's golf team concluded Sunday with a sixth-place finish at the 35t ...

The University of Miami golf team is in sixth after the first two rounds of play at the 35th annual ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.