Dear V,
My boyfriend got sloppy drunk at the football game this weekend. He wasn’t able to walk straight, he slurred his words – it was gross. I tried to calm him down so we could enjoy the game instead of needing to leave, but he was so obnoxious that I drove him home around halftime.
I wasn’t super mad at that point – I really only went to the game for him. But when we got out of the car he started a fight with me, saying we shouldn’t have left. He got belligerent and ended up calling me by the wrong name.
We haven’t spoken since. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid he’s cheating – why else would he call me the wrong name? Please help.
Sincerely,
Designated Diana
Dear Diana,
Not only should you be suspicious that your guy called you by the wrong name, but you also shouldn’t have been put in this situation at all. Whether you’re into football or not, you’re not your boyfriend’s babysitter and you shouldn’t be left to drive him home and make sure he gets back to his room safely.
Unfortunately, if he was that drunk, he probably doesn’t remember that he called you anything at all. If you want an explanation, you’re going to have to remind him of what he said to you. Sure, it may get messy and awkward, but it’s better to try to get an answer out of him than to let your doubts eat you up and drive you crazy.
For all we know, he could have just called you by the wrong name to make you angry. It sounds like he was trying to do that anyway because he was starting a fight with you for no reason. However, if he’s cheating on you and got your name mixed up with another girl’s, being drunk would be the time that he’d be likely to make that flub.
Bite the bullet and confront him. Don’t worry about being polite or waiting until the timing is right – your boyfriend lost the right to your courtesy when he ruined your day and not just his.
Sure, tailgates are meant to get wild and crazy, but not to the point where you lose control of yourself and take it out on others. If this is already happening at this point in your relationship, it will likely happen again, so you’ll have to make the decision whether your boyfriend is worth sticking around for his best when you’ll likely have to watch over him at his worst.
Hopefully, you’ll find that the reason is not nearly as sinister as you expected. But if your boyfriend seems to be at a loss for words, don’t be afraid to take your game on the road.
-V