Dear V: When guys chase your girl’s tail

Dear V,

Last week, my girlfriend and I spent some time picking out matching costumes for a party we were going to together on Halloween. We decided to go as ketchup and mustard. Over the weekend, my girlfriend texted me saying she wasn’t able to get the costume to fit her, but not to worry, she’d still be there.

I thought it was no big deal – until I walked into my friend’s house party and saw her in a kitten costume fawning over him in the corner.

She was practically naked and I was standing there in a giant yellow mustard tube.

Beforehand, I thought maybe the costume ripped and wasn’t wearable, but as I was standing there, I realized she didn’t think our costumes were “cool” enough. I couldn’t help but feel her new outfit was meant to impress somebody other than me.

She could tell I was upset and apologized again, saying she just “wasn’t feeling” the costume, but I was less upset that I ended up being a lonely mustard bottle and more upset that she seemed to really enjoy the comments she got from our guy friends who were checking her out.

I’m trying not to be the “jealous boyfriend” type, but it’s hard not to be when all of your bros are standing there telling your girlfriend how hot she is.

Am I just overthinking it or is this something to be mad about?


Grey Poupon

Dear Grey,

You’ve got to be kitten me – this one’s a doozy. At first glance, you seem like the clingy type who’s angry that other guys are giving your girl attention, but it was inconsiderate of her to ditch your plans at last minute and to leave you looking like a dork while she got her feline on.

Do you think she’s trying to see if other guys are interested or do you think she got stage fright? She might have been afraid that your clique would make fun of your costumes and switched to a more predictable get-up at last minute. That’s still no reason to leave you in the dark, but it’s better than if her goal was to catch another guy’s attention.

You’ll have to use your whiskers to feel this one out – don’t immediately rag on her for the outfit change. For all you know, she might have spilled a drink on her ketchup get-up or could have accidentally ripped it. You’d feel awful for getting angry if that ended up being the truth.

However, there was no reason she couldn’t have offered for you to meow it up as well. I’m sure you would have happily done so.

Give her some space for a while to see if she comes crawling back – if not, you might have to find the type of girl who will happily be the Heinz to your French’s.