Over the summer, I had a fling with a close guy friend. We went to high school together and are heading off to different colleges this year, so I took a play from Demi Lovato’s book: we’d be “Cool for the Summer” and that would be it. However, it seems my friend took our fling more seriously than I did. Last night, I got the infamous “What are we?” text. Now, the only Lovato song playing in my head is “Heart Attack.” I don’t want to break his heart, but I don’t want to enter my freshman year with a ball and chain, either. What should I do?
Not Ready for an LDR
Dear Not Ready,
Instead of hoping for an endless summer with eternal sand, sun and romps in the sack, you may want to think twice about leaving things undefined. If you’re just looking to let off steam and break a sweat when the heat of the season peaks, you shouldn’t string along a guy who’s hoping to dub you “bae” and bring you pumpkin spice lattes when fall hits. Plus, nobody wants to enter freshman year with strings attached.
Unless he’s your soulmate, Skype, text and Snapchat will only last so long until you start to notice cuties on campus. So, let’s cut the cord.
First, don’t dump your dude over text. Sure, it’s easy and it’s not like you were dating anyway, but if he’s digging on you, “See ya, lol ;)” will crush him. Invite him out to coffee to break the news.
Second, don’t make up excuses. You’re a small fish in a big sea. You’ve got four years ahead of you to sample the selection and you don’t want to spend it pining for someone miles away. Tell him you hope you can still be friends.
Third, let him decide what happens next. It’s not up to you whether you two remain buds or not. He might not be able to get over what happened and that’s his choice.
Fourth, might I suggest another Demi song? “Give Your Heart a Break.” Don’t jump into something else too soon. Focus on getting A’s, not just D’s.
There are plenty of college students out there avoiding commitment, so make sure to find one who’s willing to define that lack of definition in the future. Good luck!