V's Take

Dear V: Losing spark in our relationship

Dear V, 

Recently, I’ve lost interest in my boyfriend. He just doesn’t catch my eye anymore, and I’m not sure what happened. We are still close and I tell him everything, but it’s become more of a friendship and less of a relationship. I’m starting to think there may be something wrong with me. I have no desire to be intimate anymore, and I have no urge to date. My boyfriend is taking this personally, and I think he may dump me soon. What should I do?


Apathetic Girlfriend

Dear Apathetic Girlfriend,

First, you need to relax and cut yourself some slack. We all have times when we feel stuck in a funk, and not the groovy type of “Uptown Funk,” either. Sometimes you can’t stand to be near the one you love most.

As Miley Cyrus reminds us, “Everybody makes mistakes / Everybody has those days.” So, remember that nobody’s perfect, and start to see the lighter side of things.

Hey, maybe you should pull a Hannah Montana and try to channel someone else’s energy for a while. Putting on a new persona, even if it’s a new hairdo, may help you break out of your routine.

If trying out a new “you” for a few days doesn’t do the trick, you could always try spicing things up in the bedroom. Maybe you’re not attracted to your boyfriend anymore because his moves are predictable. Ask him to try out some new ideas you’ve had, and don’t hold anything back. You’ll be back in the groove of things when you see your guy become the “bad boy” you fell for again.

Talk it out with your beau. Remind him that you still love him and that it’s not his fault you’re not feelin’ the vibe recently. Maybe he will be able to help.

If he still takes it to heart and wants to go bowling alone over at Splitsville, then let him. Someone else will come along who will put up with your gutter balls and help you get back to bowling strikes.

If all else fails, maybe you shouldn’t date for a while. It could be a sign that you need to work on yourself right now. Don’t rush into anything else.

Don’t dwell too much on your boyfriend if he doesn’t stick by your side. Take a page from Iggy’s book: “I got one less problem without ya.”


March 22, 2015



Advice Columnist

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