V's Take

Bedroom myth-busting

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, love isn’t the only thing in the air (think of Rihanna’s “S&M” if you didn’t get it).

The fact that V-Day falls on a Saturday means an entire weekend devoted to your sweetie … or whoever your sad, single self drags home from SoBe.

I receive tons of questions each week, and I’m shocked by some of the misconceptions I see popping up over and over. I suppose that’s what happens when most of us learned what we know from the big kid in the back of the bus.

For all of you who spaced out in Sex Ed class and in honor of my favorite holiday, I decided to create a special topic for today’s column. It’s called “V: Mythbusters Edition.”

That’s right. I’m tackling all the questions you didn’t know you needed to ask. Put down the Trojans and grab a notebook because class is officially in session.

Myth one: Too much for Magnum

Unlike many of us, I actually paid attention to Sex Ed. During a particularly memorable lesson, my health teacher took a condom, stretched it over her entire hand all the way down her arm and made a fist. So, guys, the next time you claim Trojans don’t come in your size, you might want to think again.

Myth two: Period = pregnancy prevention

Just because your man is brave enough to part the red sea doesn’t mean he shouldn’t protect his package.

Studies show that though the odds of you getting preggo while Auntie Flo is in town are low, it can still happen. So play it safe and stick to my favorite motto: no glove, no love.

And for those of you who think pulling out is a viable alternative, I have one word for you: pre-cum.

Myth three: Oral doesn’t count

How you choose to define sex is your call. However, when it comes to STDs, everything counts.

Rule of thumb (and the squeamish should stop reading here): if you exchange bodily fluids, you can get an STD. So, pick your partners wisely.

Myth four: You know what they say about men with big feet…

Big socks. That’s all big feet are an indicator of. Sorry ladies, but any tips your girls might have told you for guessing his size before you do the deed are false.

So stop staring at his hands, feet, ears or the distance between his pointer finger and thumb. If you need to know that badly, it may be time to move things into the bedroom.

V

 

 

 

February 11, 2015

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V

Advice Columnist


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