V's Take

Dear V: When pickup lines push too far

Dear V,

So last night, I was at a frat party and a guy came up to me. We started talking, but I wasn’t into it. As I started to walk away, he stopped me and asked for my number. When I wouldn’t give it to him, he grabbed my arm and said, “Have you ever seen the movie ‘Taken?’ If I don’t get your number, it’s going to be like that.” I was really freaked out, and he quickly apologized. I know he was probably just kidding, but sadly, this isn’t the worst line I’ve heard. What do I say when guys fail at chatting me up?

Sincerely,

Not Down with the Pickup (Lines)

Dear Liam Neeson,

Wow. I’ve heard a lot of poor pickups, but that one is definitely up there. If I were you, I would have dumped my jungle juice on him.

Unfortunately, the reality is that pickup lines are something you can’t escape,  like jury duty or taxes. Unless you plan to hide in your dorm room forever, you’re going to have to get used to it.

However, getting used to it doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Some guys seem to genuinely believe that pickup lines are compliments. Maybe some of them are.

But when a guy starts threatening you to get your number, he has officially crossed into creepy-guy territory.

Obviously, the easiest thing to do is to walk away – the faster, the better. As soon as you start getting that “I’m-going-to-send-Albanian-mobsters-after-you” vibe, it’s time to dip. Plan an exit strategy in advance with your girls.

Whether it’s an SOS text or an elaborate hand signal, make sure they know when it’s time to drag you to the bathroom.

If you prefer taking the more confrontational route, it might be good to come up with some anti-pickup lines to respond with. For example, “Did you fall from heaven? ‘Cuz so did Lucifer.”

However, any guy who uses “Taken” for a pickup line might be immune to sarcasm.

There are two very choice words that have a pretty high success rate when it comes to dismissing people from your presence. Or three, if you want to get really colorful.

If all else fails, I stand by my first suggestion: spray him with beer. After that, guys will probably stop asking for your number.

V

February 8, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Miami Hurricanes are running low on tight ends. But their receivers — notably sophomore speedste ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Tuesday: ▪ The pretty even split of carries between Travis Homer ...

The University of Miami has lost another player to surgery, and the depth was already lacking at thi ...

A six-pack of UM notes on a Monday: ▪ There has been no more popular or successful quarterback at UM ...

The Miami Hurricanes’ defense leads the nation in tackles for loss and stopping opponents on third d ...

New technology could help schools identify shooters and other intruders before they enter the door. ...

A University of Miami professor has created software to detect fraud in standardized tests. ...

UM President Julio Frenk outlined the strategies of the Roadmap to Our New Century, part of his Stat ...

Students attending Monday night's State of the U address by UM President Julio Frenk offer thei ...

At UM’s inaugural State of the U address, President Julio Frenk detailed the strategies of the Roadm ...

Jeff Thomas may be quiet off the field, but the sophomore has been consistently making lots of noise ...

The Atlantic Coast Conference announced Tuesday the league slate for the upcoming 2018-19 season. ...

Miami remained ranked in both major polls Sunday, checking in at No. 21 in the Associated Press Top ...

The Miami Hurricanes came to Toledo, Ohio for the biggest home game in the history of Toledo footbal ...

A quartet of University of Miami men's tennis student-athletes concluded the final day of compe ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.