V's Take

Dear V: When pickup lines push too far

Dear V,

So last night, I was at a frat party and a guy came up to me. We started talking, but I wasn’t into it. As I started to walk away, he stopped me and asked for my number. When I wouldn’t give it to him, he grabbed my arm and said, “Have you ever seen the movie ‘Taken?’ If I don’t get your number, it’s going to be like that.” I was really freaked out, and he quickly apologized. I know he was probably just kidding, but sadly, this isn’t the worst line I’ve heard. What do I say when guys fail at chatting me up?

Sincerely,

Not Down with the Pickup (Lines)

Dear Liam Neeson,

Wow. I’ve heard a lot of poor pickups, but that one is definitely up there. If I were you, I would have dumped my jungle juice on him.

Unfortunately, the reality is that pickup lines are something you can’t escape,  like jury duty or taxes. Unless you plan to hide in your dorm room forever, you’re going to have to get used to it.

However, getting used to it doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Some guys seem to genuinely believe that pickup lines are compliments. Maybe some of them are.

But when a guy starts threatening you to get your number, he has officially crossed into creepy-guy territory.

Obviously, the easiest thing to do is to walk away – the faster, the better. As soon as you start getting that “I’m-going-to-send-Albanian-mobsters-after-you” vibe, it’s time to dip. Plan an exit strategy in advance with your girls.

Whether it’s an SOS text or an elaborate hand signal, make sure they know when it’s time to drag you to the bathroom.

If you prefer taking the more confrontational route, it might be good to come up with some anti-pickup lines to respond with. For example, “Did you fall from heaven? ‘Cuz so did Lucifer.”

However, any guy who uses “Taken” for a pickup line might be immune to sarcasm.

There are two very choice words that have a pretty high success rate when it comes to dismissing people from your presence. Or three, if you want to get really colorful.

If all else fails, I stand by my first suggestion: spray him with beer. After that, guys will probably stop asking for your number.

V

February 8, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Miami Hurricanes had to adjust their offense at halftime Saturday to pull out a road win against ...

Photo Gallery: UM v. Virginia Tech | Saturday, November 17, 2018 … Click to Continue » ...

The Miami Hurricanes found new life Saturday — despite so much seemingly going wrong. Big plays on o ...

At least in terms of their bowl situation, the Miami Hurricanes can take a deep, collective breath. ...

Thoughts, notes, reaction and postscripts after UM’s 38-14 win on Saturday at Virginia Tech, making ...

UM Libraries is presenting an extraordinary exhibit that immerses the audience in an emotional journ ...

A UM researcher is helping to lead a study on how smoke interacts with clouds and its impact on the ...

People are bombarded with news and information these days, providing opportunities for discourse tha ...

Students, faculty and staff stopped by the School of Architecture’s Korach Gallery to learn what Mag ...

The On Campus event featured innovative National Geographic Explorers—photographers, scientists, sto ...

The No. 24 Miami women's basketball team dropped a 75-52 decision Sunday at Iowa State in the P ...

The Canes got back to their winning ways with an impressive 38-14 victory at Virginia Tech. ...

20-point performances from Chris Lykes and DJ Vasiljevic led Miami past Bethune-Cookman. ...

The University of Miami volleyball team forced No. 10 Pitt to five sets in a thrilling match on Seni ...

The No. 24 Miami women's basketball team is headed to Iowa State for the Preseason WNIT champio ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.