Bedroom etiquette: the untold story

Those of you still inhabiting the dorms know the undeniable truth of college – your roommate can make or break the year. They’re the ones who see your sloppy appearance and deal with you after you’ve pulled several consecutive all-nighters during finals.

Everyone knows nothing causes as much friction between roomies as sexiling. It’s the topic nobody talks about (except when complaining to their friends after being kicked out at midnight).

But  trust me, the awkward conversation is way worth avoiding the awkward walk-ins later. So crack open a bottle of wine and set some boundaries – you’ll be glad you did.

Whether you’re the one being sexiled or the one doing the sexiling, here are V’s sexiling etiquette tips.

FOR THE SEXILER

Give Fair Warning

There’s nothing worse than the “I met this girl and we’re on the way to the room now” texts. If you’re planning on having company, call your roommate so they have enough time to grab their phone charger. Or, if you guys have more of a laid-back approach, the tried-and-true sock on the door is a nice way to avoid being caught in a compromising position.

Timing is everything

The best way to become public enemy No. 1 is kicking your roommate out at three in the morning during midterms.

Do not be that person. If you have a steady thing going, set up meet-ups during times you know your roommate will be gone. If you do get lucky on a night out, be sure to give your roommate some warning – and be prepared that they might say no.

FOR THE SEXILED

Don’t come back early

Assuming that your roomie has given you some advance notice, do them the courtesy of not busting in halfway through looking for your history notes.

Yes, it’s inconvenient to carry twice the stuff you normally would, but isn’t it worth it to avoid that awkward run-in? Go treat yourself to a coffee in Starbucks or make friends with the study room. If your roommate is a repeat-sexiler, refer to the next tip.

Have a crash pad

Since we all know how uncomfortable the study room couches are, it might do you good to find an alternate hangout spot.

Whether you work out a system with your floormates or are blessed enough to have a friend with a coveted off-campus crib, you’ll be glad you did – especially when your inebriated roommate kicks you out in the middle of the night.

V