V's Take

Dear V: Forgiven but not forgotten…

V,

I’ve been with this awesome girl for around a year, and everything was smooth sailing until a few months ago when I made a stupid (very drunk) mistake at the Grove. At first, I tried to keep it from her, but I finally came clean. I thought for sure we were going to break up, but after thinking about it, she decided to give me another shot. The only thing is, since then, she’s been insanely jealous. If I’m out with my friends, she texts me a million times, and if a text from a girl pops up on my phone, she loses it. Last week, she made me cancel plans with my female cousin. She used to be one of the chillest girls I know, but now I feel like I can’t do anything without her freaking out. I know I messed up, and I want to make it up to her however I can, but I’m starting to wonder if things will ever go back to how they were.

Sincerely,

Short Leash

Dear Better than Revenge,

First off, shame on you for falling prey to the Moose Juice Mistake. Obviously, there is no level of drunk that makes cheating okay.

It’s understandable that your girlfriend might be a little nervous afterward. However, there’s a big difference between jealousy and Fatal Attraction status.

Hope you don’t have a pet rabbit …

It sounds like she’s feeling insecure. No matter how drunk you were, it’s still a big ego hit when a significant other steps out.

If I were you, I would start dusting off those first date skills (minus the awkwardness). It’s time to do some old school courting – and I don’t mean ordering takeout and watching ESPN on your couch.

Treat her like she’s someone you’re pursuing rather than someone you already have. I’ve never heard a girl say no to a bouquet of flowers or a nice night out. And the extra attention might do the two of you some good.

If she’s still shooting you crazy eyes after the knight-in-shining armor routine, it may be time to consider the fact that the jealousy is here to stay. Not everything can be solved with a bottle of wine, and cheating is a tough pill to swallow. It may take you time to earn back her trust and  there’s a chance things will never go back to how they were before.

My question for you is, are you willing to put in the time? If not, it might be time to cut your losses and move on, especially if her jealousy starts tipping the crazy-girlfriend scale in the direction of stalker.

And keep in mind for your next relationship that Grove nights and girlfriends don’t always mix.

V

February 1, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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