Dear V: I may swipe my roommate’s man …


So I never got on the Tinder bandwagon, but my roommate did. For months, she’s been scouring the Internet for the perfect guy and now she claimed she’s found him. But when she brought him over so I could meet him for roommate approval, he ended up hitting on me. Now, he’s added me on Facebook and won’t stop messaging me … but he’s not answering her texts. What do I do?


FB Flirt

Dear Cyber Hussy,

Whether we’re talking emoticon subtext or in real life, the same rules apply. And by rules I mean code. The girl code. Barney Stinson might have preached the legen – wait for it – dary importance of the bro code, but our guru in a suit doesn’t come close to fathoming the importance of girl code.

Yes, MTV and Real Housewives may try to make it look like all girls do is fight and claw at each other’s weaves, but at the end of the day, we just wanna have fun. And that bond is never stronger than with a roommate. Especially when you consider that she sleeps three feet away from you and could therefore easily kill you in your sleep, or worse: make a bonfire of your sweaters.

So it’s time to come clean. And I don’t mean in the Hilary Duff circa-2003 way of standing out in the rain with your mascara running. It’s time to summon your inner Justin Long and tell her the cold, hard truth: he’s just not that into you. Yes, she might be hurt, especially when she discovers her cutie is hitting you up, but trust me – it’ll save you trouble in the long run. And it’s better for her to hear it from you than discovering it during a cyber snoop-fest. Plus, it might teach her a valuable lesson: Tinder is for hooking up, not wife-ing up.

If she’s mad, assure her you blocked the creep (then go block him). Promise her that she’s the pretty roommate and remind her that swiping right doesn’t count as sweeping her off her feet. If that doesn’t work, break out the Ben & Jerry’s and the cheap moscato and offer to Netflix-binge on crappy rom-coms until she feels better.

And a pro-tip for next time she brings a guy over? Don’t be home.