V's Take

Dear V: I may swipe my roommate’s man …

V,

So I never got on the Tinder bandwagon, but my roommate did. For months, she’s been scouring the Internet for the perfect guy and now she claimed she’s found him. But when she brought him over so I could meet him for roommate approval, he ended up hitting on me. Now, he’s added me on Facebook and won’t stop messaging me … but he’s not answering her texts. What do I do?

Sincerely,

FB Flirt

Dear Cyber Hussy,

Whether we’re talking emoticon subtext or in real life, the same rules apply. And by rules I mean code. The girl code. Barney Stinson might have preached the legen – wait for it – dary importance of the bro code, but our guru in a suit doesn’t come close to fathoming the importance of girl code.

Yes, MTV and Real Housewives may try to make it look like all girls do is fight and claw at each other’s weaves, but at the end of the day, we just wanna have fun. And that bond is never stronger than with a roommate. Especially when you consider that she sleeps three feet away from you and could therefore easily kill you in your sleep, or worse: make a bonfire of your sweaters.

So it’s time to come clean. And I don’t mean in the Hilary Duff circa-2003 way of standing out in the rain with your mascara running. It’s time to summon your inner Justin Long and tell her the cold, hard truth: he’s just not that into you. Yes, she might be hurt, especially when she discovers her OkCupid.com cutie is hitting you up, but trust me – it’ll save you trouble in the long run. And it’s better for her to hear it from you than discovering it during a cyber snoop-fest. Plus, it might teach her a valuable lesson: Tinder is for hooking up, not wife-ing up.

If she’s mad, assure her you blocked the creep (then go block him). Promise her that she’s the pretty roommate and remind her that swiping right doesn’t count as sweeping her off her feet. If that doesn’t work, break out the Ben & Jerry’s and the cheap moscato and offer to Netflix-binge on crappy rom-coms until she feels better.

And a pro-tip for next time she brings a guy over? Don’t be home.

V

December 7, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Eleven football seasons ago, after the Miami Hurricanes and FIU Panthers met at the Orange Bowl for ...

University of Miami fans no doubt are loving the Hurricanes’ two newest tight ends. What they’re pro ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Thursday: ▪ Though UM wasn’t called for a single penalty against ...

Two of the best athletes and a freshman quarterback on the No. 21 University of Miami football team ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Wednesday: ▪ The Miami Hurricanes are honoring their 1983 nation ...

UM students, faculty and staff commemorated the five-year anniversary of the Donna E. Shalala Studen ...

Miami’s Turnover Chain inspires copycats, but the U’s turnover prop has a ‘cool factor.’ ...

NASPA names UM as a Lead Advisory Institution for the seventh year in a row. ...

The trailer for a documentary exploring the relationships between UM students and Holocaust survivor ...

New technology could help workplaces and schools identify violent intruders before they enter the do ...

The Miami Hurricanes volleyball program won its third straight match in 3-0 fashion on Friday night ...

Estela Perez-Somarriba of the Miami women's tennis team registered two straight-set wins Friday ...

It's been over a decade since they last met, but Miami and FIU are set to renew their crosstown ...

The University of Miami cross country team gears up to compete in its third meet of the season this ...

University of Miami Director of Athletics Blake James announced Friday a five-year contract extensio ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.