Dear V: Parents may dislike my older date …

Dear V,

I recently went on the best date of my life. We met up for a drink and ended up leaving five hours later. He kissed me goodnight and told me he wanted to see me again. We have the exact same interests (seriously, who else likes antiquing?), and it just seems like it could be a really fun, easy time.

But of course, there’s a hitch – he’s 12 years older than me and has two kids who live in a different country. I have very traditional parents who would have simultaneous heart attacks if they ever got wind of this.

I don’t think this will be a long-term relationship, but I still feel like this is crazy. What am I doing with my life?


Anna Nicole Smith


Dear Potential Stepmommy,

Hold your horses there, fella. You are acting way too “media” about this.

Here is modern media in a nut graph:

Something bad happens to a person. Media then immediately tweets about it to make sure everyone read it with your site first, regardless of how accurate your report is. Then, media travels via Floo Powder to get to that person’s house. Media stalk them until media gets an interview to feed the public panic with.

In other words, you are going crazy way too soon. This isn’t Easy-Mac. This is a slow-boiling gourmet pasta. And you want his sauce.

Let’s evaluate the foundation of you and Mr. Roger’s relationship:

You met in a bar. Then you had a thorough, fulfilling conversation. And finally, he kissed you goodnight.

Gee whiz, that sure sounds like a banner introduction to your next mate date.

So stop acting so media about this. You don’t have to be the first to tweet about the potential distant problems. Let them play out so you can locate a more established, comprehensive conclusion.

This is the equivalent of what you’re saying to me: “Doctor, my period hasn’t come in two months, so I think my body forgot I’m a girl. What should I tell it?”

Let the situation play out, and you’ll get a bump with the answer.

So now what should you do? I’ll tell you what you’re going to do: Have some fun, damn it. You just said you can’t have a long-term relationship, but that it could be a fun, easy time. Therefore, going off what you said, make it that way.

Spend a lot of time with him. Have a fancy dinner. Go camping in the Everglades. Do what bunnies do. You know the drill.

Assess the actual boring adult stuff later. Life is short and so are its segments – so enjoy them each fully.

Or, you know, go tweet about it immediately and see if you can be the first to act too soon.



November 9, 2014



Advice Columnist

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