Halloween costumes comment on person behind mask

Remember going house to house yelling “trick-or-treat” and scurrying away in the costume your mom bought or made for you, bag filled with candy and heart as content as can be?

Me too. Now when I try to trick-or-treat, parents give me weird looks and I end up holding a random kid’s hand in order to nab just a little bit of candy.

So while it might not be socially acceptable to show up on random people’s doorsteps anymore, we can still buy Reese’s family packs from CVS Pharmacy and, of course, dress up.

But instead of dressing up as black cats and firefighters, we’re sexy black cats and firefighters. These days, you can add sexy in front of anything and you’ve got yourself a perfect Halloween costume.

Of course not all girls go the sexy [fill in the blank] route, and guys aren’t usually pouncing around in devil horns and lacey red bras. Some people opt for the political statement, others go for the pop culture reference, and others reuse the same kimono, afro or leotard every year with a new twist. So what does your Halloween costume say about you, really?

If you’re a girl and you’re dressing as an animal of any kind, you’re trying to be cute. I’m not talking gorilla suit here; I’m talking cat ears plus a black leotard and fish net stockings, or cheetah ears plus a cheetah leotard and fish net stockings, or bunny ears and a … you get the idea. It’s easy and you’re going to look adorable, and that guy from your physics class will definitely think you’re cuter than all the other animals at the party that will end up looking like a forest for woodland creatures.

If you’re a guy dressing as an animal, you’re going to die of heat, and that’s okay, because you’ll be that guy in the gorilla suit everyone wants a picture with.

If you’re going as a teen mom, one of the Kardashians or Kate Middleton, you just finished reading Us Weekly magazine and watching “Botched” on E! and can’t wait to carry that Cabbage Patch Kid (a.k.a. North West) around on Friday.

If you’re going scary, as in zombie with an eyeball falling out or a corpse with creepy white body paint, you’ve watched every “Friday the 13th” and have taken this holiday very seriously. You don’t mess around and you genuinely hope to freak some people out.

If you’re doing something like a priest or baby, you’re used to making people laugh and know your friends are expecting something good. They’re also going to take copious amounts of pictures of you doing inappropriate things as said priest or baby, and you’re excited for it. Funny always beats cute for you.

If you’re going as a superhero, you’re confident, fulfilling a childhood fantasy, and ready to save the day (i.e. buy everyone another round and regret it the next morning).

The list goes on for costume types and the different personalities they reflect, and I hope to see all you priests, police officers, skeletons and tigers out there on Halloween night. As for me, I’ll be the sexy lampshade eating stolen candy.

Melanie Martinez is a junior majoring in journalism.


Featured photo courtesy Maryland GovPics via Flickr.