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5 Types of Drunk People You Saw at Saturday’s Tailgate

Sometimes, enjoying a tailgate means more than a few drinks to the good folks down here at the University of Miami, so here are a few of the many characters we see at the typical UM tailgate.

Bottom’s up!

1. The “I promise I’m not drunk” girl


“You’re right, Cathy, you’re not drunk. Yes, you can have a Crunchwrap Supreme later.”

2. The “I know I’m drunk, but I don’t care” girl


She legitimately doesn’t give a crap about stumbling through AEPi’s tailgate, and she doesn’t care that she just stepped on your Sperry’s.

3. Dancing on the bed of a truck girl (or boy)


That was you yesterday wasn’t it?

4. The “you’re just blurry” fraternity guy


He’s been trying to get in your pants all afternoon long. He’s been trying so damn hard.

5. This girl


You know.

September 7, 2014

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The Miami Hurricane


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.