V's Take

Dear V: I might have infected my lovers …


I just found out that I have Type 1 (or oral) herpes in my … nether regions. The doctors told me that this type of herpes only causes one outbreak down there and then it goes away forever. Should I still tell the people I’ve been with? I mean, if it’s only one outbreak, will anyone really notice? It’s not chronic or anything.


That girl in “White Chicks”



Dear James Franco,

I’m going to advise that you take a breather, step back and keep calm about this situation. That’s the first thing you should be doing.

My first instinct is to tell you to keep your mouth shut. You don’t want to be known as that girl who gave someone herpes.

But (and this is a big butt), after careful consideration, I think you should tell the people that could have come into contact with about this little inconvenience of yours.

I know in some states, someone can be prosecuted for failing to inform their sexual partners of a sexually transmitted infection. So, unless you want to go to jail for having herpes, I suggest you take out your little black book and start calling up some people.

I’m not sure how many sexual partners you’ve had or you could have had between the time that you think you got it and now, but it’s worth spending your day making some phone calls. It’s inevitably going to be a touchy conversation. The other person will pick up the phone for what they think is a booty call and then you’ll drop the bomb on them. Chances are that you haven’t actually infected anyone and you’re right: This is a very mild outbreak that can be easily controlled and contained. You just need to let these people know that the possibility exists. It’ll be uncomfortable and you’ll want to abruptly hang up the phone, but you’ll at least be able to clear your conscience.

I’m sorry you have to suffer through this, but be the bigger person and tell your sexual partners that they might have Type 1 herpes. They’ll thank you later for sparing them the embarrassment of having to explain their sores to someone else.

Just look on the bright side: You’ll move past this and then you’ll be able to have sex without worrying about how gross your disease is.

Be a little bit more careful next time, OK? You might not be so lucky. And trust me, there are worse things you could be infected with. Just Google “gross STDs.” The pictures are deadly.


April 9, 2014



Advice Columnist

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