V's Take

Dear V: This guy may be kiss or miss …


I’ve been on a few dates with this guy I find really cute. The dates have gone well, and he has told me he wants to continue seeing me. Sounds great, right? But there’s one little problem – I can’t get him to kiss me. 

Through text he says he wants to, but then on date night, nothing. It’s a little frustrating. I get that he’s a little shy but come on! What should I do?

Is he going to kiss me or not? 


Dear Drew Barrymore,

You’re in a particularly tricky situation.

You could either go ahead and make the first move yourself, or you can wait around for him to do it. Choose the right one and you’ll be headed toward sunset and rainbows and all that fun stuff. But choose the wrong one and you’ll end up sad and embarrassed, perpetually waiting for Michael Vartan to come kiss you five minutes before the opening pitch.

Let’s not be that girl.

I could jump straight into some hasty generalizations and tell you that he’s probably gay and using you as a beard to cover his steamy relationship with his RA, but it’s very possible that that’s not the case. I’ll be honest – I’ve been screwed over one too many a time by questionable Betas and I’m a little bitter … sue me.

My gut feeling tells me that he’s just not that into you. And I’m not just saying that to quote a cheesy self-help book turned movie; it really seems like he’s not that into you.

If we analyze this situation rationally and look at it from an objective perspective, it looks like he’s playing you. And he’s doing a good job at it too. You may as well be his little fiddle for all the twists and turns he’s taking you through. He might be shy, and that’s fine, but the skeptic in me says that he’s keeping you waiting in the wings because he’s off trying to pursue “something better.”

I won’t go into a “men are scum” rant because that’s not why we’re here today, but I want you to consider this: One very wise person once told me that men go after what they want. If they want to date you, they make it happen, and if they want to kiss you, they’ll definitely make it known.

So, go after what you want. Find yourself a man who wants to put his face on your face and forget about this “shy kid” who won’t come through in person.

Running in circles is never a flattering look for a lady … unless you’re running the track in the gym in your brand new Lululemon yoga pants.


March 26, 2014



Advice Columnist

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