V's Take

Dear V: My man parted the red sea …

Dear V,

Last week I went on a date with a new fling. We had a great time earlier in the evening and really seemed to hit it off. After going back to his place and sliding into third, I got a special encore performance from my dear Aunt Flow. Needless to say I was absolutely mortified. I really like him but I am not sure how to act around him anymore. Should I pretend like nothing embarrassing happened, or ignore him forever and wallow in shame?

Help, 

Anonymous

 

Dear Tampax commercial,

Everyone should be keeping a calendar and know when it’s the time of the month. But let’s say for a second that you forgot and it just slipped your mind to pack a tampon. That’s fine, it happens to the best of us but seriously that’s gross.

Men barely tolerate talking about a woman’s period, let alone having it all over their fingers. I’ve had boyfriends who look at me weird when I mention cramps … I can’t even imagine what they’d say if they had to deal with my period blood all over their hands.

If you know this guy well enough you should just talk it out with him. Tell him that it’s a natural bodily function and you just couldn’t control it. I’m assuming he’s straight so he’s going to have to deal with this from you or some other woman for the rest of his life. It’s better that he learns now.

However, I think it’s safe to assume that you don’t know this guy very well. In that case, screw it and don’t talk to him ever again. It’s really not a huge deal – people have gone through way worse.

Some guys enjoy this stuff though so maybe you’ll get lucky and he’s one of those guys. I’ve been told that it’s period sex is great for all parties involved (something about more lubrication and sensitivity) so if this dude calls you again, suggest something kinky … you never know where the night will go.

Don’t wallow in shame – at least you found out before you ruined a pair of sheets.

V

January 27, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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