Dear V: Can anybody hear me …


This semester has been quite stressful. And as the school year started, it became increasingly evident that some of the people I considered my close friends were starting to push me away. It is my fault too – I’ve been busy and I haven’t been able to dedicate time to our friendship. This past weekend, we were hanging out at the Grove, and I got a little bit drunk and told them everything that was bothering me. I admit, I got a little bit dramatic, but now it seems like they’re done with me. How do I fix this situation? Is their friendship worth it? Should I just find new friends?


Mr. Lonely


Dear Cher Horowitz,

It sounds like your friends are prissy bitches, and instead of going to a party in the Valley because they asked you to and then getting jumped by some random guys near a sketchy gas station, you should put up a giant middle finger to the world and tell them to f*#! off.

Regardless, there isn’t much that I can say to explain why these people did what they’ve done. Sometimes, for inexplicable reasons, people just decide that they don’t care about you and walk away. In my experience, those people were never really your friends anyway, so why waste your time trying to dissect their actions?

In my opinion, friends should take you as you are. They shouldn’t judge or make you feel miserable about yourself. And if they’re mad at you for being mad at them, then they’re immature and need a crash course on growing up. And it’s not your job to teach them.

I understand the anxiety that comes with the feeling that we’re losing our friends to busy schedules but ultimately, they should support you in what you’re doing. You not being able to “put time into the relationship” sounds like these people are expecting you to feed their ego 24/7.

They also sound like selfish, backstabbing, slut-faced hoe bags and in reality, they’re probably so much more than that, so it’s in your best interest to just sashey away.

Drunk, busy, crazy, etc., friends are supposed to take you as you are and these people are more akin to an army of skanks than a loving entourage.

Go hang out with Paul Rudd and participate in philanthropies. Nothing cleanses the soul more than charity.