“Has Anyone Seen My Footy Pajamas?” Inaugural Address


Hello everyone, and welcome to Has Anyone Seen my Footy Pajamas? My name is Danny New, and sometimes I get worried that my knee-high white socks aren’t earning me enough “cred” on the basketball court.

This blog is different than any you have seen. Most are centered on trying to give a good impression and making yourself seem cooler as you sit in your underwear on a Friday night blogging about Pretty Little Liars.

However, I am totally open about jeering at my quirky, goofy demeanor. It may not always be apparent, but I hold onto a dorky, awkward side that is unleashed at the worst occasions; and I am not hiding it from anyone. Laughing at my mistakes and silly anecdotes are just too entertaining to be withheld from the world.

Awkward things that have happened to me since I arrived in Miami:

  • While in line at a club in the Coconut Grove, a strange man offered me some “White Girl,” and I replied, “Where is she?”
    • Apparently “White Girl” is another name for cocaine – nobody told me.
  • I stood in a gas station for a half hour waiting for an employee to come fill my fuel canister. (#JerseyStrong)
  • I excitedly asked when the Muggle Quidditch Team was ordering Varsity Jackets.

In other words, I am proud to be part of an elite group of people who thrive off of being unusual and silly. People who obsess over corny puns. People who get all fuzzy inside when they buy tropical colored post-it notes. People who still say “swag.”

Now, I’m not saying that I have no friends and that I am a miserable outcast, because I’m not. I’m a Broadcast Journalism major and I love talking to people and being the center of attention. That being said, that attention usually stems from me tripping over an abnormally large dust particle.

In other words, I’m goofy. I’m childish. I’m different. And best of all, I want to tell you about it.

COMING UP NEXT: “Mayonnaise…Condiment of the gods?”