Dear V,
My boss is a tyrant of Machiavellian proportions. With my psychotic boss, nothing you do is ever quite right. She sets traps, asking you to do things and no matter how hard you think of accomplishing it her way, it’s wrong and you are to blame. You must pay her A LOT of attention and get her things that normal people could do for themselves. According to her, you’re NEVER as busy as she is.
One thing particularly maddening about her is that, for others, she puts on a pleasant facade and stands up for the best causes to enhance her appearance. But I’m the one who witnesses her ugliness, which makes it all the harder to complain to anyone about her vindictive passive aggression.
Although I love my job, kissing Cruella de Vil’s ass all the time is becoming increasingly hard to deal with. Can you help me figure out a way to stay sane when my boss is insane?
Sincerely,
Distraught Dan
Dear Anne Hathaway in “The Devil Wears Prada,”
There are two things we all have to keep in mind when it comes to difficult bosses: Meryl Streep will never remember your name, and there will always be a sassy British assistant to tell you you’re doing it all wrong.
There’s no reason to throw your smartphone into a Parisian fountain just yet, there are ways to get on Meryl’s good side.
Anticipate what she wants before she wants it. And from the wise words of Stanley Tucci, stop whining and man up! People can sense your negativity, and you will very quickly become the office drag.
Because she’s right. You’re probably not as busy as she is.
If you love your job, and you’re willing to do anything to stick with it, gird your loins and do the work you’re supposed to be doing. The best way to stay sane in these types of situations is to be able to live with the satisfaction that you’re doing your job to the best of your ability.
No one in your office is there to give you a gold star or put your picture up for employee of the month. You’re in the big leagues now, kid, and it’s a dog-eat-dog world.
Also, stop coming up with ridiculous ideas just to get on her good side … Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking. Meryl sees through your sh!*.
If you’re asking me for some quick tips, here they are: put your phone on vibrate (that incessant ringing is tormenting you at night, isn’t it?), and next time she asks you to get her steak from Smith & Wollensky, make sure she hasn’t already had lunch.
Let me know when your life goes up in smoke; that means it’s time for a promotion.
V
P.S. “She’s not happy unless everyone around her is panicked, nauseous or suicidal.”