V.Online: Back to reality

Hello there monsters (this is not a Gaga reference, you are actually all giant, college-sized monsters),

I’ve been on campus this past week partly because it’s time to come to terms with the fact that I’ve got to start functioning at normal hours of the day again and partly because I’m curious about the freshman talent.

To be honest, I’m thoroughly impressed. You all seem innocent and wise enough for the time being, which is more than I can say for last year’s incoming class.

I’ve taken a little break from the torture that is mending all your broken hearts, and I’m sure you’ve noticed the absence. However, fall is among us and I’m in full force, kittens!

So welcome baby Canes, hello again upperclassmen and toodles mom and dad, it’s “first day of school time.”

Saddle up, because it’s going to be one hell of a ride.


P.S. I see some cameltoe action that needs to be fixed before Monday morning.


August 25, 2013



Advice Columnist

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.