V.Online

V.Online: Witchcraft and Wizardry

Do not watch The Conjuring.

SPOILER ALERT: It’s scary as balls.

If you don’t like dolls, creepy children, crazy witches/bitches, french maids, clothing lines, antique toys, wooden staircases, cellars, armoires, vintage VW vans, old Mustangs, children’s games, birds, lakes, houses, lake houses or  the ’70s, stay far, far away.

And if you decide to ignore me, God bless you.

This movie is so mind blowing in so many ways that it made me go home with a headache … and a fear for the dark that I haven’t experienced since my time in kindergarten.

The plot has twists and turns and ups and downs and it makes you laugh and cry and scream and faint. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting. But in the end, it’s really, truly worth it.

Do it if you’re up to a good scare and afterwards you can say I made you do it. You’ll understand later.

May the force be with you,

V

P.S. I think I’m having a nervous breakdown because I just heard an evil laugh come from my air conditioning vent. You know that kind of deep like, “HA HA HA” laugh that’s supposed to sound like the devil? That.

Lord help me.

July 26, 2013

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.