V's Take

Dear V: Will I ever find my Tom Hanks?…

V ,

I want my life to be a romantic comedy. I want to find love on top of the Empire State Building or through the magic of inexplicable circumstances. Is this so hard to ask? Why can’t my life be a rom-com?

Meg Ryan Save Me



Meg Ryan Stalker,

I myself also envy the romantic comedy lifestyle. Logic doesn’t apply, and moonlight causes magic to happen. The magic of finding your soul mate on the Empire State Building or having breakfast by Tiffany’s would make the best man’s speech at your wedding memorable and worthy of a TLC episode.

But unfortunately, romantic comedies are written with the intention that they’re not real. They are meant to inspire people to search for love, but they have such unrealistic expectations that one can get caught up in a storm of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Confusing the exaggeration of a comedy with the passions of a romantic tale causes audiences to believe that they can find happiness that way.

I recommend watching films that mimic the same effects of the romantic comedy but are in tune with reality. “Juno” was definitely a transition because Michael Cera and the lovable Ellen Page learn that having a child brings people together more than any New York landmark. And “500 Days of Summer” teaches us that love can be temporary and happily ever after is not always the fairy-tale forever.

But maybe this suggestion will get the rom-com funk out of your system. Try to live out a romantic comedy. Set up a time and date with film students and write your own rendition. You might find that during the process, your on-screen DiCaprio or Depp might be the next eligible groom at your “27 Dresses” wedding.

This filming will also help you realize that behind every rom-com, there is a writer, director and camera crew that amps the facade of that first kiss that totally ruins girls’ expectations of guys. There are guys who are romantics, but they are not as fueled by the film industry.

But I admire your way of living in this Meg Ryan-Tom Hanks world because few are willing to admit that life can just be a little bit more comedic, less logical and magically eventful.



April 14, 2013



Advice Columnist

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