There is nothing a guy wants more than to pronounce how much he cares for his girlfriend by standing in front of people with an unhealthy amount of chocolates and an 8-foot teddy bear while she runs toward him screaming like a 14-year-old Justin Bieber fan.
This is an obligation that every guy must fulfill on Valentine’s Day.
Unless you are a hopeless romantic character from a ‘90s movie or Ted Mosby from “How I Met Your Mother,” Valentine’s Day can seem like a chore for most college men. Most of us have an ego big enough to chase multiple women and wear an Ed Hardy shirt on Friday nights.
The last thing we want to do is express our feelings to a girl. We would rather be fist pumping.
We men are basic primal creatures, and therefore, it can be difficult for us to grasp the concept of planning an event to make another person happy. But, most of us guys are able to pull it together and have a successful day.
All we have to do is walk into a Walgreens or CVS and they have a step-by-step plan. They have the cheesy cards, the chocolate heart boxes, and then we pick up a Red Lobster gift card at the cash register.
I mean, there is nothing more romantic than buying gifts for your significant other at a mainstream drug store where you can also purchase energy drinks and laxatives.
Now, some men are lucky enough to be with a girl they actually want to do something special for. These are the guys that will wear matching sweatpants to class with their girlfriend and have date nights that do not consist of froyo and Netflix. For these guys, Valentine’s Day could actually be something enjoyable. These are the guys that are not faking the smile on their faces when they pick up the $80 check on Valentine’s Eve.
If you are a guy under the spell of some seductive princess, plan her a sweet day. But don’t go overboard. There’s nothing more pathetic than a guy bowing down to a girl and attending to her every need.
What occurs on Valentine’s Day will up the level of the relationship a few notches or have it come to a screeching halt. Guys know this. Whatever we plan is precisely thought out and its effects are usually what the man wants to happen.
Men have been scheming to get girls since they wore light-up sneakers. By now we have some experience and a little skill. Plan accordingly, men.
Kyle Rambo is a junior majoring in education.