Dear V: He loves me, I love him not…

Dear V,

About a year ago, I started dating a wonderful guy – sweet, funny, kind, all that.  Recently, though, I started feeling like our relationship isn’t going anywhere, and he agreed, but we shrugged it off as a relationship low point.  But a few months ago, I met another guy who is very similar to my boyfriend in a lot of ways (except he’s a bit taller), and I’ve started having feelings for him, too.  I feel guilty, like I’m being unfaithful, but I haven’t actually done anything.  Do I dump my boyfriend and go for this new guy or just not date either of them?


Who Do I Choose?

Dear Stuck in a Rut,


Like I’ve said before – and I’ll say it as many times as I need to – DON’T CHEAT. You’re already feeling guilty enough as it is; don’t actually give yourself a reason to be.

But you’re also being a little delusional. This new guy is practically identical to your boyfriend, so what makes you think a relationship with him would be any better?  He’s exciting because he’s new, but just like any fun gadget, you’ll grow bored, the next guy will show up and be taller still. You could run through all the iPhone models and never be satisfied.

If you dump your boyfriend and get with the new guy, you’ll eventually grow hungry for new features. But don’t stay with your current boyfriend because it’s convenient. When the spark is gone, it’s gone, and it takes a lot of effort to light a fire from ashes. You’re too young and wrinkle-free to start settling now. So dump the boyfriend and find someone who you’re truly into.

And seriously: Do not cheat! Like my mother used to say, once a cheater, always a cheater. You’ll end up like a sad housewife on Wistoria Lane, only your life isn’t a TV show, so you won’t have a chiseled Jesse Metcalfe to mess around with while your hubby’s at work.

But boyfriend #2 is not the answer either. You’re bored with one, you’ll get bored with the next one, and I’m getting bored answering this.  If you have to distance yourself from them, do it, but don’t waste your time being in a relationship you hate.

Get single, get drunk and find someone hot to entertain you for the night.


Here’s to spicing up your life,