V's Take

Dear V: Closed legs, but an open relationship

My boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship for two months now, but I never use my opportunity to hook up with other people. My boyfriend is bisexual, and he always describes his experiences with various girls. I can’t stand this, and I always get jealous and frustrated when I hear about his other experiences. Should I give up on this relationship or call him out?

 

Sincerely,

The jealous boyfriend

 

Dear Wish That Was Me,

 

Why in the world would you agree to an open relationship if you’re not going to use it properly?!  He’s basically using you so that he always has someone to hook up with without limiting himself to just you, and that is in no way fair.

So grow some balls and tell him you’re upset, or start having sex with other people, too.

If given the chance to mess around and you still stick to just him, an open relationship isn’t for you.   It sounds like the longer you stay in it as open, the more you’ll get hurt. So get out, or get serious.

This isn’t some cheesy romantic comedy.  He’s not going to appear with flowers after you’ve gotten upset and tell you how much he loves you and how you were the only one who ever meant anything.  You’re not Jennifer Aniston.

But given the fact that he keeps mentioning his other hookups, maybe he wants you to get jealous. Maybe he’s just testing you to see if you care. So tell him how you feel.  It is an open relationship after all, so be open.

It won’t magically fix everything. Contrary to popular belief, I’m no miracle worker.  But if you two spend a little more time talking about feelings and a little less time hooking up, things might start to turn in your favor.

So don’t give up on it without talking first.  Jealousy means you really like him, so give it a shot before kicking him to the curb.  The worst that could happen is he decides not to get serious and you’re given the chance to find another guy who will actually treat you properly.

Oh, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad after all.

Also, if your boyfriend is hooking up with “various girls,” I might want to get “various STD tests.”

 

V

November 7, 2012

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

If redshirt freshman N’Kosi Perry is starting Thursday night for the No. 16 Miami Hurricanes against ...

It sure sounds like redshirt freshman N’Kosi Perry is going to get his first career start at 8 Thurs ...

If he hasn’t made it already, Miami Hurricanes coach Mark Richt has a defining decision to ponder in ...

They were way below the radar coming into the 1983 season. And after their 28-3 opening-game loss to ...

In the opening eight minutes on Saturday — and the final seven minutes — FIU looked like a team that ...

Theatre arts students open the Ring Theatre’s 2018-19 season with a tribute to the creative genius w ...

UM representatives earned Novice and Junior Varsity categories at the National Opener, one of the mo ...

The Office of Civic and Community Engagement receives a $300,000 investment from JPMorgan Chase to t ...

Get Out The Vote, a nonpartisan initiative headed by the Division of Student Affairs and the Butler ...

University of Miami Libraries commemorates Banned Books Week with a special event and display. ...

The Miami Hurricanes were one of the biggest risers in both major polls released Sunday, jumping to ...

Miami junior Estela Perez-Somarriba's 6-4, 6-3 victory over Evgeniya Levashova will be re-broad ...

Estela Perez-Somarriba of the Miami women's tennis team earned one of the most prestigious coll ...

The University of Miami volleyball program defeated Duke, 3-1, winning its fourth straight match and ...

N'Kosi Perry and a dominant Miami defense led the Hurricanes to a 31-17 victory over the Panthe ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.