Dear V,
My boyfriend’s a really bad kisser. When we first started dating, I figured he would get better with more practice, but that hasn’t exactly happened. I don’t want to break up with him over something this silly because I really like him, but honestly kissing him isn’t even that fun. How do I tell him without making him upset?
Sincerely,
Tongue-Tied
Dear Lackluster Lip Lock,
Not everyone is a majestic kisser. Some people have amazing lip talents (yours truly), while others (your boyfriend) fall a bit short. Let’s hope he’s not falling short in other departments as well.
There’s no reason to break up with him. Men are trainable. If you’ve liked him enough to stay with him despite his inability to kiss like a man, there’s no reason to end things now. What you need to do is take a little more control with your tongue. And I don’t mean verbally. Change your makeout gameplan according to whatever he’s doing that’s got you so frustrated.
If he’s one of those people who opens his mouth really wide and basically eats your face, you should just mention it to him. It’s uncomfortable feeling like he’s going to literally suck your face off because he’s working his mouth like a Hoover.
I’m sure saliva isn’t the kind of uncomfortable swallowing you had in mind, so if he does get a little drool-y mid-make-out, keep your mouths shut a bit more. The key to a perfect kiss is knowing the right amount of tongue.
If he’s just an all-around snoozefest when it comes to puckering up, take some control and throw in a few extras. A little lip nibble never hurt anyone, and it can really steam things up if you do it right. Don’t bite too hard, though. Vampirism is only cute on TV and you don’t want to freak him out … unless he likes that.
If all else fails, you might just need to have a chat about how you two kiss. A little manipulation never hurt anyone, so mildly suggest something you like and then tell him it’s something you’d like to see him do. You could be the bad kisser in this relationship, so before blaming him, revisit that one night at sleepaway camp when your roomate taught you how to kiss. Your pillow won’t mind.
V